I Thought it was Just a Party

It’s Friday night, I was 16. My friends invited me out to a party and I was itching to get out, so I agreed. We had planned on drinking so we didn’t want to drive ourselves. A mutual friend had offered to give us a ride to the party, and back home. We thought that was a good idea and we could all have fun together without having to worry since we had a “responsible” designated driver.

We were wrong.

We got dressed in our best outfits, perfected our makeup, and waited for our ride. He picked us up, I sat in the front while my friend sat in the back. We had great conversations, excited for the party, everything seemed to be going well. We told him that after the party he would drop both of us off at my friends house once her grandparents fell asleep. He agreed and we proceeded to the party.

When we arrived at the house party, it was full of people and I was eager to interact. We start mingling, and I had grabbed one drink out of the cooler they had, and one for my friend. I don’t remember what it was, it could’ve been a beer, a Mike’s hard lemonade type drink, or something else in a large can (tall boy). We start drinking and the mutual friend, who was our DD, comes over and asks if my friends and I wanted to play beer pong. We agreed, even though I am the last person you want on your beer pong team. The mutual friend (DD) offered to watch our drinks for us, which we appreciated because you never know now a days and he hadnt given us any reason to not trust him. We played 2 games we won one, and lost one. We head back over to our drinks, and take a sip. The drink tasted a little different than I remembered, but then again I lost at beer pong and my taste buds weren’t particularly up to par. The night goes on, I had one more drink with my friends and I started to feel a lot more intoxicated than I should’ve been after only 2 drinks. Granted, I was only 16 but I had been to enough parties to know that 2 drinks should not be affecting me this way. I asked my friends if they felt wearied, and they all said they were fine. I started to think maybe I was just overreacting. The party went on and I started feeling more and more in a delirious state. It was getting late and the party started to clear out. My friend, the DD, and myself all headed out to his car. Once again, my friend sat in the back and I sat in the front.

I was wrong.

We were on the way to my friends house where we had planned on staying for the night. The plan was for my friend to go inside and make sure her grandparents were asleep, she would give me a signal, and I would go in. I was sitting in the car waiting for the signal, when the DD(“mutual friend”) started coming on to me a little aggressive at first. It just started progressing as well as my state of consciousness. I was fading in and out, and highly inebriated. At that point I realized he had to have drugged my drink. I asked him “What did you do to me?” He turned his car on and sped off without waiting for my friend to let me in. That’s the last thing I remember that night.

The next morning I wake up in a dirty house, in a strangers bed, naked. I hear footsteps down the hall and the door swings open. To I’m sure no one’s surprise, there he is, the “mutual friend”. I am still out of it from the night before, and before I can say a word he says “Get your s**t, I’m taking you home.” I felt so mortified, disgusting, worried for my safety, violated, hurt, and stupid. He drove me to my house without any words then, or anytime after that. Until he followed me home one night and approached my driver window trying to have a conversation, as if he didn’t take every shred of my being.

A few weeks later I found out he told people he took pictures and videos of me while he was sexually assaulting/raping me. Apparently everyone saw them, but me. He took videos/pictures of my unconscious body. I have no idea what he, or anyone else for that matter, did to me or who he sent the videos to. I have never felt so worthless in my life. How can someone achieve enjoyment by dehumanizing any individual? I never thought this would’ve happened to me.

I was wrong.

#metoo