“ I Need Water”

One of my favorite ice breaker questions to ask somebody is ‘why do you think we, as humans, dream?’ The answers that come can shed a lot of insight into how a person views the world around them.

If somebody were to ask me that question I’d say ‘I believe it’s a sacred means of communication that functions almost like a tarot card of which interpretations are left for you to discover with your own Higher Power. Meaning I’m not too keen on interpretation books or mediums decoding dreams—I believe in order to find the meaning to one’s dreams one must ask themselves what each symbolic element means to them individually. What does a snow owl represent to you as a person, versus what did it mean to ancient times shaman of the past. It’s you trying to communicate with you, and for that reason familiar language is going to be used in the conversation.’

Don’t you feel like you could sus out a few more things about me based on that answer?

Maybe you would know that dreams hold great significance in my life. That I trust the things uncovered and shown therein. That I’ve made major decisions based on understanding gained in the world of nod. Again, I see these night time projections as supremely sacred.

Could you guess that I was worried when near the early part of 2021 I stopped remembering my dreams?

Oh the concern I felt. Similar to a phone bill going unpaid and the connection, so accustomed to and spoiled by, withdrawn—my network stripped from me. What a sadness, what a shutout, what a neglect, what an offense, I felt being denied entrance to one of my favorite revelatory portals.

It hurt me.

Like being stood up by a regular appointment with a familiar and beloved friend without any explanation; I felt ghosted.

Why was this happening? Why were other cognitive functions within myself seeming to fail as well? What was going on with me?

During this time of slowed cognitive function and incredibly high anxiety I wondered if this was my new normal. About ten years earlier I’d thought this same thing after sustaining a severe and life altering head injury. I couldn’t think inside my head, in order to get my thoughts in order I had to say them out loud. I went through a period of staining to recall my own parents names—how to make my mark on a sheet of paper; getting lost in once well-known hallways.

Imagine that—how would that make you feel? What ways would that make your life harder? I won’t go into the details of how it affected me, but I would appreciate you attempting to step into my shows by thinking how a similar scenario would impact you and yours.

Despite this fearful place I found myself in you can bet I was determined to find my way back to my dreams—back to my inner internet of timeless knowledge and wisdom, clarity and creativity. I knew there was a way, and I knew that I would find it.

Before that way would appear, before finding what I knew I would there was dreamless nights where instead of seeing a 3D world of color and strange storylines that so often made no sense, but of which were nonetheless fascinating and instructive to behold, I’d wake up with a singular thought each and nearly every night saying “ I need water “

“I need water” night after night. Why was the only thing I heard ‘water, water, water’— why when my partner and I went on a New Year’s trip to California was there so much water, two days and night straight of rain when it’s not common there? Why did I have thoughts here and there chiming and chirping ‘you need to buy a new water bottle’, ‘you need to go to the kitchen for a drink.’, ‘why are my lips and skin and hair so dry?’

Bliss-lessly unaware I let the thoughts roll through without much heed.

It wasn’t until about 6 months of severe cognition halts that the proverbial dam burst open. I was greeting two friends passing through on their way to California; they’d be spending a single night at my partner's home. We engaged in small bites of big talk wherein one person of the two was hauling in their needs for the night. Once unloaded both members of the partnership sat across the room from me—a large jug sitting between us.

All at once I went from totally not noticing it’s presence between our conversation to being unable to ignore it.

I eventually asked ‘what is that thing?’ Referring to the blue, purple and pink ombré plastic bottle—larger than most you’d typically see. He said ‘this is how much water you’re supposed to drink in a day’ . That last word ‘day’ echoed in my head over and over and over again… then the entire sentence, over and over and over again. A familiar and peace restoring golden sensation rested upon me as multiple memories and instances over the past few months and years found a common meeting point in that singular phrase. Like a web of understanding previously disjointed instantaneously synced into synonymous meaning.

“I need water!!!”

“I need water!!!’

“ I needed water! Oh my goodness! Like I’m not drinking enough water! Why hadn’t I thought about that!’

It felt like minutes had passed in the span of seconds as I sat there in a revelatory swirl of understanding. “Water! It’s water! That’s the answer!’ The physical representation of ‘how much I should be drinking’ shook me as I realized I wasn’t even coming close on a good day. Just a few days earlier I thought I had COVID I’d felt so wretched and gross—but upon a quick Google search it was clear most, if not all, I’d been feeling was dehydration symptoms.

I was shook.

But shaking off the shook enough I asked where this friend had purchased their bottle; they sent me the link via text—I sat there, in that same instances, and order my own bottle and committed right then and there that I would stop abusing my body like I had been.

At that point I hadn’t made any New Year’s resolutions. But a soft little thought breezed through my thoughts saying ‘a resolution will come to you, and when it does you’ll recognize it; be still’. When this call to water came I knew it was the resolution I’d been told would come. In this moment the ways I’d felt neglected and abandoned by my Higher Self that used to visit me each night shrunk, and I felt sheepish to ever think it would abandon me. It had instead been speaking to me just as clearly as ever—I just wasn’t getting the message.

However, ever since that message came through I have yet to miss a day of my 128oz of water. My dreams have yet to return to their usual strength and potency, but they’re present again! Many of the cognitive abilities I’d been fearful of losing forever have begun to resurface rapidly. And I’m more fully a believer of the idea that by small and simple means, great things are brought to pass.

Water consumption was too simple for my overcomplicate-things mind… I was in a panic, a long term, months long panic—and I was scared; my vision, my clarity murky as a stirred up pond—stagnant like a diseased stream. But eventually flow returned. The space between sleep and awake delivered as it always has.

Now, having had this experience, a new ice breaking question I’d like to include in my social journeys here and there will most definitely include ‘do you feel you’re drinking enough water?’

If I were to ask you that today what would you say?

A found answer may help you sleep better at night.