How I Coped with Menopause

Every woman handles menopause differently because it affects us all in different ways.

Hot flushes and night sweats

I only ever got hot flushes at night and although uncomfortable, I didn’t wake up in a pool of perspiration, as a good friend of mine had happen to her. She regularly had to change the bed sheets because of her night sweats. Mine felt like not getting enough air and having to flap the duvet up and down to create a light breeze (not ideal for the person trying to sleep next to you!)

Some women experience hot flushes/flashes during the day and literally go puce in the face and have to take time out. I can’t imagine what that must feel like and in certain situations, must be awkward and embarrassing, although of course, it can’t be helped.

My top tips

I quickly learned the following:-

1. Never drink a hot drink in the evening, especially an hour or two before going to bed
2. Always take some ice-cold water to put on your bedside table
3. Keep a spritzer or water cooler spray by your bed

When I felt the heat building up (which sometimes happened quite quickly), I would drink some cold water and spritz my face with the cooling spray. This helped a lot in reducing my discomfort and I was usually able to get back to sleep after settling down again.

If I couldn’t settle down, I would either listen to something calming on my phone that I would keep to hand with the earphones already plugged in, or I would get up and go downstairs to read for a short time before going back to bed, so as not to disturb my partner.

Problems with memory and concentrating

When I was pregnant over thirty years ago with my only child, I would get very emotional and forgetful.

Once, when I was heavily pregnant, I parked outside a bakery and completely forgot what I wanted. I bought some bread and a couple of cakes, but when I got back to my car, I found a parking ticket on the windscreen. It felt like the end of the world and when I got home, I cried my eyes out. I don’t know why it affected me so deeply, but it did and I can remember feeling like the whole world was against me. Overly dramatic, I know.

Hormones play a huge role in a woman’s life and at times such as during pregnancy and menopause, they can play tricks on our minds.

How we cope with situations can make a big difference to how we feel. I did some breathing exercises and focused on keeping calm until I felt that I was back in control again. Feeling out of control can be quite frightening and is not a pleasant experience.

Today, we are fortunate to have meditation apps galore at our fingertips, and all kinds of help and assistance, but back in 1988, things were very different.

Mood swings and anxiety

I am a big advocate of natural remedies and if I can avoid putting anything unnatural into my body, I do.

Thankfully, there are some wonderful natural products available to menopausal women and I felt much calmer when I took Evening Primrose oil capsules. I tried Starflower oil capsules, but found that these made me feel quite ‘prickly’ and uneasy, so I stopped taking them.

My local pharmacist behind the counter at the local chemist was very helpful and guided me through my menopausal journey. I never felt that my symptoms warranted a visit to my G.P. although, at one stage, I was considering HRT, but after reading so many mixed reviews about it, I felt that it wasn't for me. I was fortunate to be able to alleviate my symptoms by taking natural remedies which were recommended by the pharmacist.

Reduced (or loss of) libido and vaginal dryness

Again, there are a ton of products available to help with these issues that you can buy over the counter at your pharmacy or health shop, or you can discuss them with your doctor.

Pre-menopause

Before menopause, which hit me in my late fifties, I was always a cold person and especially at night when I went to bed. However, having come out the other side, which only took about eighteen months, I am now quite toasty in bed and feel like a mini-heater has been planted inside me which radiates warmth throughout our king-sized bed. Very welcoming in the cold winter months but not so pleasant in the heat of the summer!

Weight gain

Some ladies experience an unnatural weight gain while going through menopause. Portion control and a healthy diet are things I try to practice every day, as well as plenty of exercise, which not only keeps me active but it also helps to keep my weight in check and helps me feel great too.

It's not always straightforward and I admit to having to motivate myself as I focus on the bigger picture of feeling healthy. I know that when I gain a few pounds, it affects me in many ways and I start to feel quite down. That's when it's time to get my trainers on and go for a long walk. Or ring a friend to arrange a game of tennis.

Recently, I took up golf and not only do I walk a very long way in beautiful settings, but I have also made another set of friends, and I am really enjoying it. It's helping to keep my weight in check too.

And finally…

Having emerged relatively unscathed from menopause, I feel relaxed, happy, liberated, and free to live each day of my life how I choose with renewed vigor and confidence.

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This article was first published on Medium where you can find more of my work, including some poetry and short stories. I also write a free weekly blog, Rosy's Ramblings, and you can sign up here.