Goodbye 2022

Dear 2022,

Look, this is hard for me to say, and I know it’s not going to be easy for you to hear, either. But I’m just going to rip off the Band-Aid and say it.

I’m breaking up with you.

There, I said it!

I know it's a cliché, but it’s not you, it’s me.

But we both knew this was coming. It was only ever supposed to be a fling, a limited time thing.

You came into my life at a time when I needed a new start, a fresh perspective, new hope.

And you gave it to me. For that, I will always be grateful.

We have been through so much together.

You encouraged me out of my comfort zone to try new things. Some of it was amazing and life changing.

I started writing again, even publishing for the first time and I couldn’t have done it without the support you bought.

We made plans together.

There were beach days, movie nights (how can I ever forget Jurassic World 3, Maverick and Avatar 2?), parties and dinners. We hung out with friends, drank oceans of coffee, found treasures in vintage stores, and celebrated anniversaries, birthdays, births, weddings and graduations. We did our bit for charity and helped friends through their hard times.

Remember bringing home the car for the first time? That new car smell! I wish I could have kept the big bow. Or that time we got stuck in the rain? And the tattoo? I didn’t get your name in ink, but every time I look at it, I’ll remember you. Then there are thousands of photos in my phone.

Even though there will be times my mind is occupied by other things, there will always be reminders of you.

But it hasn’t all been roses. No relationship ever is.

We have left people behind and been left behind. We took risks and had to deal with the consequences when it didn't pay off.

I made promises I had every intention of keeping and never did. I’m sorry for that. I disappointed the both of us which I’m ashamed of. Even worse, I can’t guarantee I won’t do it again. I wish I could say I won't, but I have broken so many promises in my life, I’d be kidding myself and disrespecting you to say I’ll never do it again. So, I've decided not to make them anymore.

I’ve learned a lot from you and the mistakes I've made, the mistakes we both made.

I learned there are things I don't want to accept in the future. You taught me I won’t let people treat me badly anymore. We all make mistakes and it’s important to learn to forgive. That doesn't mean I have to accept being treated poorly. It is in my hands to make that change. You taught me that.

There is one lesson I still haven't quite grasped: to let go of the past and move forward.

I’ve had controlling relationships in the past. Restrictions and crazy requirements I never dreamed I’d have to face. I’d never felt so controlled before. And I think I let that colour how I saw you. It wasn’t all your fault. I knew you were something totally new. But past experience had me hiding from you. You did your best to coax me out of my shell, the safe place I’d retreated to.

I think I was caught between expecting great things from you and subconsciously expecting you to do the same as the others. Every time someone said something bad about you, I doubted you.

Thank you for trying. I’m sorry I didn’t accept more of what you tried to do for me.

Now comes the hardest part. I have a confession to make.

I’ve met someone new. It’s our first date tomorrow.

I’m nervous. But I’m looking forward to it with hope.

Tomorrow we will have parted ways, but you will always be in my heart.

Love always,

Me.

Hello 2023! You sexy young thing!

Inspired by the memes about saying goodbye to this year and being affraid of the next, but hopeful.

my apologies for my off-the-wall sense of humor!