Dreams Vs Reality

For me being a skinny model was never in the cards. I came from a big family that has always been heavy or "big boned" as some would say. My father was 6'1 450lbs and my mother was 5'2 and just a bit thick. As luck would have it I inherited my fathers genes. I grew big and fast. In one year when I was only 10 I went from 5'4 to 5'10. That doesn't seem like a lot but trust me at 10 it is. The rest of my years growing would be an uphill battle. Not only was I tall but I was thick. I didn't have a butt, however, I had what I later learned was referred to as baby bearing hips. Wide ones. By the time I was in high school I was 6'1 and around 200-215lbs. I was active in sports and played basketball and did weight lifting. You would think that a girl with my height and my athletic build would be pretty fit but when I did the whole BMI thing I found that by being just 1lb over my weight limit for my height I was considered morbidly obese. Those words cut through me like a hot knife through butter. Me? The girl who was always active and always playing sports, morbidly obese!? Wow!

I was always told that I was a very beautiful girl. My eyes being the number 1 thing that always received compliments. People made comments when they saw my senior photos or just regular school photos. "You should be a model girl!" or "Wow, have you thought of modeling?" To which I would reply, "Ha! yea me be pencil thin? Who are you kidding?" You see, my face and and neck looked like I was a skinny girl, but no matter how active I was, I always had a belly and thighs and hips. By belly I mean not that cute chunky but flat belly. I am talking hanging over your jeans, stretch marked, FUPA belly. Back when I was in school no one had even considered a plus size model for their magazines or their ads on tv. It was skinny anorexic looking or you didn't even get looked at.

Eventually over the years time had passed and I had a few kids, 4 to be exact, and the times had changed! Society had decided that "Big girls" as they called us were hot! That plus size modeling was so popular, and should be encouraged and embraced! As much as I support this with a full heart, I also with a heavy heart saw some of the fake that came along with it. Please understand that in no way am I shaming the girls that are still plus sized but not as plus as others. Nor am I saying that they are wrong for standing up for themselves. I praise ALL plus sizes no matter what side of the spectrum you are on. I am, however, calling out the businesses that place these plus size models on the smaller side of the spectrum to model their clothes or their lingerie. They are beautiful but they don't have the more reality side of being plus. A majority of us have FUPAs and we have rolls and bat wings as they call them and we have side rolls and big thighs and all those imperfections. We don't really see that though. We see the thicker girls with just a chunky stomach and thick thighs and a beautiful thick body, when in reality more of us have the rolls and imperfections.

I have always wanted to be a model/actress and when the times changed and plus size was in, I had the hopes of one day being in that race. Then I saw what Hollywood's version of "plus size" was and I felt my dreams fade away once again like before. I want to see magazines that show us the true Plus Size girls and give them and their true beauty a chance to shine like the rest of them. We may not be a size 2 but we are amazing women and have big hearts full of love and hope. We can make more of a difference in this world than you give us credit for! I challenge you to step out of your comfort zone and give us a chance to change the world. I'll bet anything that we work just as hard if not harder than you are willing to give us credit for! To all you Plus Size girls who think you can't do it because of your imperfections, don't take no for an answer! Show them what you are worth and don't let anyone stand in your way! Together we will one day get there because you are beautiful and strong and deserving! The perfect imperfection!