Do You Love Yourself?

Do you ever wonder where body image issues stem from? It's just as common in men as it is in women. Wanting to be muscular, thin, beautiful. Is it from the magazines? MTV? For fuck's sake, the Kardashians? Why do we feel the need to impress everybody else to feel good in our own skin? Why do we think we need the attention? Some people blame being the middle child. Or not being hugged often enough. But I think the human brain is so much more complicated than that. It's about being true to yourself. Or, at least, I think it should be. We shouldn't have to wonder if these jeans make us look fat. Why does anyone care? And the end of the day, can you look in the mirror and honestly answer, "Do you love yourself?" Because if the answer is no, maybe you should start. Start taking the steps to love your body, your personality, your curves, or not? Maybe you’re reading this and wished you looked like me. Is that possible? Grass is always greener on the other side, I suppose.

I’ve had body issues for as long as I can remember. But, now that I’m getting older, I’m trying to figure out why. Why don’t I like the way my thighs look? What have I experienced in life that makes me think that they aren’t normal? What makes me think that someone else can tell me how I should feel about my body? Luckily, I’ve found someone who makes me feel beautiful. But, why can’t I feel that way on my own? I down want to start down the never-ending toilet bowl of why? Why? Why?

But I have to ask, do I love myself?

And at the end of the day, the answer is yes. I do love myself. There are things that I don’t love. But I’m the only one who can change them. Does that make me my own worst enemy? Probably.

It took me a long time to figure out that it was okay to be myself. I didn’t have to label myself as “the fat friend.” I didn’t have to look in the mirror and search for every single flaw. In time, I would like what I see. I could even feel beautiful, sexy even, if I wanted to. If I wanted to work towards self love.

The #selflove movement has been a big part of me coming into myself. I never would have thought I could post a half-naked photo of myself on the internet. I never thought I could be that vulnerable. But, I think that I’m just trying to show myself that my body doesn’t have to be a cage. It doesn't have to be a giant meat bag with a conscious; it can work to my advantage. It carries me, and maybe someone else someday, so why is it so hard to accept it for what it is? Stretch marks, yes. Rolls, yes. Acne? Yes. Hair to straight to hold a curl? Yes, all 6 feet of me, can be loved.

You can’t love someone else until you love yourself.

So, tell me, do you?

If you don’t, that’s okay. You will. One day, you will look back on this day and think, “What was I thinking? Why?”

Learning to love yourself is a long, hard, emotionally taxing process. It takes time, and that’s okay. You have a support system. You have people that love you, and envy you, and would do anything for you. You just have to let yourself rely on them. They may surprise you.