Catcalling - stop it

Women, every single day, go through this form of harassment whether it be on the streets or online, and the topic of sexuality is such a broad broad topic. Inequality itself is a massive topic, and we have people on either side fighting consistently. However, there are reasons why this fight for equality has become such a forerunner especially after the #MeToo movement.

Catcalling - the act of making a sexual comment towards a woman (or a man) who's passing by. Usually, these acts are unwanted.

A great amount of women have been harassed on the streets. I'll use my stories as an example:

I was walking down the street and a man tried to get my attention. I ignored him, and he got angry at me. He even shouted, "You need to learn how to smile!"

Once, a car honked its horn at me. When I looked, the driver winked.

I was driving in the highway one time, and it was rush hour that there was traffic. My car window was down. The driver beside my car rolled his window down and tried to get my attention. I didn't give him what he wanted and went on my way, but he followed me all the way to my exit. And he was hollering at me throughout the whole ordeal.

I was at Ralphs a few weeks back, and I was just going to go back in my car. The driver in the car next to mine said, "Hey there, little lady!" I ignored him and went into my car. I was on my phone for a few minutes before I looked up, and he was still staring at me.

I was doing a comedy show one time and forgot something in my car. I went back to get it, and a guy saw me and tried to offer me water (he was carrying a water bottle). I will never drink water from a stranger. I kindly said "no," and he followed me to my car. I drove away to find another parking space, but, lo and behold, he still found me, and he followed me all the way into the building that I was going into. Thankfully, my friend was there waiting for me.

The things I just mentioned that I went through - I'm sure hundreds and thousands of other women have been through that as well. One of the scariest things that happened was when I was waiting for a friend. I was parked at the street, and a guy was staring at me from the outside. He was hollering something, but I didn't hear him because he was just staring for a few minutes before he decided to say something. Then he approached my car and tried to get in.

Some people have told me to simply shut up and take these instances as a compliment. Some would even say "maybe you tempted the guy."

No.

It is not a compliment. Doing those types of actions and following it up by literally following the woman (or man) or getting angry at them for not responding is threatening. It makes the victim feel unsafe. It makes us feel like objects.

As for the temptation - most of the times when I was catcalled, I was wearing sweats. And the incidents that I have mentioned have happened in broad daylight and in the streets. I wasn't in any club or any bar. I was just walking down the street to do my errands. The victims of this type of attention did not and will never deserve that kind of harassment.

From a simple act of catcalling, other actions can follow. What if I didn't lose the man who followed me on the freeway? What if I was alone when the guy who got angry at me (the one who told me to smile more) approached me? What if my friend wasn't there at the building when the guy followed me to my car and found me again after I parked on the other side of the building? There are a lot of what-ifs, and this act of catcalling isn't playful. It's degrading. It makes the victims feel like an object. Sometimes, those cat callers would even use such degrading language.

Let's do a brief study of humanity right now. One of the things that people need is safety. If we look at the material needs of men, it's all for their safety in this modern world. We need a house to keep us safe from the outside. We need clothing to keep our bodies safe from the environment. We need food and water because we'll die without it - our body feels safe if we're healthy and provided. We need transportation to be able to go from one place to another safely.

When countries started to lockdown due to the coronavirus, fear loomed over us, and what happened? Panic buying. Racist attacks towards Asians here in the US.

Being unsafe, or fear, leads us to do things that aren't normal in our daily life. It triggers certain parts of our brain that usually won't be triggered if we felt safe.

So what does catcalling do to the victims? It frightens us, the victims enter a flight or fight situation. A lot of the times, most just fly. My friend, however, will fight. Someone once smacked her booty, and she has a black belt in Taekwondo. She followed the man and beat him up in public, and no one stopped her. Am I fan of physical violence? No. Did I find myself cheering for her when she told me that story? Yes!

Anyways, most women go into flight mode, and this makes us feel frightened as the what-ifs start running into our heads. Catcalling, being followed, what's next? We know what's next. Let's not even pretend that we don't know. That's the reality, and that's why women are angry. Being treated that way makes us succumb into the age old role that society has given us women. And what role is that? The role that we are submissive objects who are inferior to men. They have the right to treat us that way. They have the right to dictate what we wear. And more.

This whole thing has to stop. More victims need to speak out, and we need to support one another. The last time I was public about this treatment, women were the ones who commented saying, "Take it as a compliment." How can I take that as a compliment when I was followed to my car?

The subject of equality is a broad subject, and the issues we are currently facing about it will take a while before it is solved. We have, however, gone a long way already. There are improvements here and there, but that doesn't mean that the fight for equality is over.

Main point is:

People just want to feel safe. Stop catcalling.