Any good news yet?

I got married in January 2021 to my then-boyfriend. We have known each other since 2013 and have been dating since March 2014. It was an LDR. Our marriage talks started in 2019, the dates were finalized in 2020 and got married in 2021.

Just 3 months into my marriage, slowly but steadily I have been asked about "Good News". My husband and I were both 26 when we got married. At first, it didn't bother me much. But as time went by, I was being bugged by this from all sorts of people. When I say all sorts of people, I mean relatives, a few colleagues to housekeeping staff at my workplace. I was and still am constantly being reminded that my biological clock is ticking.

I put on weight in 2021 and it was quite visible too. I was diagnosed with PCOS in 2016 and pretty much all my fatness was around my abdomen. With that, people ended up thinking I was actually pregnant. It was hurtful, to say the least when people around me would say "Madam, you need to take good care considering your condition" and I used to ask them, "What condition are you talking about?" and their reply would be "You're pregnant. So, you have to be careful." Though it infuriates me, I put on a smile and say "Thank you for your concern, but I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat". And this has occurred a couple of times now.

They would apologize and leave but it used to leave me sad.

On our 1st anniversary too, along with the congratulations came the question of "Good News?".

Ever since I got married and started being bugged by this question, I kept thinking...Is being a mother everything? Am I complete only when I become a mother? Isn't motherhood or parenthood our choice? Aren't we supposed to be the ones raising the child and isn't it supposed to depend on my husband and me whether to have a child or not?

Every time that I get to know someone had a child who got married around the time I got married or after I got married, people used to look at me with judgy eyes and pass on comments. Sometimes they would blatantly ask "Look, they had a child. Are you guys even trying?".

All of this started affecting me negatively.

But 2 people helped me come out of it.

One is my cousin's spouse, who is a doctor in the UK and pursuing her PG and has been married to my cousin for the last 7 years but they don't have a child yet. She told me not to pay any heed to what others say and to live life on my own terms. She told me how often both of them were bugged by this question and now, after 7 years, looks like people have given up.

The second person is my mother. She told me it is my body and our choice as a couple. No matter what others say, it is we who have to decide whether to have a child or not. She will be happy if I give her a grandchild and she will still be happy even if I don't give her a grandchild and all that matters is my happiness.

Isn't that what is supposed to matter as humans? Happiness...Do we really need to push ourselves in someone's personal space and question them for not having a kid? Does it never cross anybody's mind that it could be a choice or an issue and that the couple isn't interested in discussing it?

I wonder when will the world change in this scenario.