A Man Threatened to Shoot Me When I Rejected Him

I’ve suffered through my fair share of men calling me names or telling me how unattractive I am after I’ve politely declined dates with them, but I’ve only received one death threat. I’ve long forgotten his name, but I’ll never forget the look of anger that crossed his face when I rejected him.

I was working at a family-owned grocery store. It was the kind of store that topped its pay at eight dollars an hour, so it didn’t attract the best bunch. Many of the people who worked there couldn’t find jobs elsewhere because of criminal records and negative work histories. They’d just hired a handful of new people. Among those hired was a man who decided that he found every woman at the store attractive. This included the married women, one of which reported him to management after he told her she could still go to dinner with him despite her already being married.

He seemed more infatuated with me than he was with others. He did whatever he could to get my attention, often leaving love notes at my register or walking past me just to stare. On the rare occasions when I wasn’t on the register, he’d come over to talk to me. He did this multiple times a day, often while customers were present. He even told a handful of them I was his girlfriend.

I told him repeatedly that I wasn’t interested, but the behavior continued. I thought he was annoying, but I was young, so I didn’t realize that this behavior was harassment. Not only was it harassment, but it was interfering with my job.

The store I was working at proudly boasted about their beer sales, so they did nothing whenever one of my coworkers came to work drunk. That was the case on the day I received the death threat. It was time for my break, so I went outside only to find him and a friend sitting at the table outside. I thought about going back inside, but then I’d forfeit my break and I felt like I needed to sit down. I choose the bench furthest from the intoxicated duo. I hoped they’d get the hint that I didn’t want to talk to them, but his friend encouraged him to ask me to go watch a wrestling match after work.

I told him “no” politely the first two or three times, but then came the question many women are familiar with when rejecting a man: Why not?

Being polite was getting me nowhere, so I told him the harsh truth. “You look like the caveman from the Geico commercial and you’re boring. I don’t enjoy wrestling, please stop asking me.” Yes, my words were immature, but I was young, and I’d reached my breaking point. I had hoped my words would let him know I was serious and make him leave me alone.

Instead, his face became a mask of hatred as he spat the words at me. “If I had a gun, I’d shoot you in the face right now,” he said.

His friend seemed to think this was the most hilarious thing anyone had ever said, but I didn’t. I felt frozen in place for a few minutes as I stared at him in disbelief. Had he really said that to me? Did I deserve it for rejecting him? I had only wanted him to leave me alone. My heart pounded as a mixture of emotions flooded through me. I was afraid of him, but I was also angry that he’d threatened me. I got up, went back inside, and told a manager what he’d said. The manager assured me they’d take care of it, but when the manager went outside, the men had left (presumably to their wrestling match).

The next time I saw the man was the day he got fired. I’m not sure if they let him go because of what he’d said to me or if it was something else, but he found me before he left. He was sober and apologized for what he’d said to me, and I explained that while I forgave him, I never wanted to see him again. I know that my situation could have turned out much worse, as it often does for many women. Luckily, I never had to see this man again.

Originally Posted On Medium in Living Out Loud