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So...How Will the Edmonton Oilers Blow it THIS TIME?!

The Edmonton Oilers return to the playoffs after a terrible start to this season

By Clyde E. DawkinsPublished 3 months ago Updated 3 months ago 3 min read

OK, Oilers, you made it to the playoffs. So how will you fuck it up this time?

I want to explain something about myself as a hockey fan. I don't hate the Edmonton Oilers. I'm a fan of Connor McDavid. However, I absolutely despise Oilers fans.

This has nothing to do with the fact that the Oilers just trounced my Avalanche. This actually dates back a few years. So I'm quite vocal with how the Oilers are basically ruining McDavid's career. McDavid's one of the best players in the league, but he has never even been in the Cup Final because the Oilers fuck up when it counts. It wasn't until I joined Vocal that I really started mentioning, on a public forum, that the Oilers are ruining McDavid's career. I even said that McDavid needs to get out of Edmonton if he wants to win a Cup. I said this after the Oilers were swept out of the first round in 2021, and repeated in on Twitter on the following season, but I got some heat from Oilers fans for that.

Then a funny thing happened: the Oilers reached the Western Conference Final in 2022. For McDavid, it was his first time in the Final Four, but the Avs swept them, and later won the Cup Final. I would hear Oilers fans bitch and moan that the refs were favoring the Avs, even though it was clearly the opposite. Even so, I softened my stance about the Oilers after 2022. Maybe they could do it. Maybe they could make another long run.

Then the following season (last season) progressed. The Oilers looked off. Something told me this team would regress, but when I said so on Twitter, Oilers fans really came at me and acted like I didn't know what I was talking about. Then the playoffs began. The Avs were out in Round 1 while the Oilers advanced. However, the Oilers lost to the Vegas Golden Knights. Here's how much I hate Oilers fans. I actually rooted for Vegas in that series. No lie. I knew good and damn well that Vegas would beat them, yet even after the Oilers regressed (like I said they would), their fans still felt it necessary to make fun of me because we lost to Seattle. So yeah, both teams regressed. Here's the thing. The Avs had just won a Cup. We could afford to regress. The Oilers couldn't. They badly needed to at least copy 2022, and they didn't. But Oilers fans are so fucking arrogant and stupid that they couldn't understand that. They're still pretending that it's the latter half of the 1980s and the Oilers are a juggernaut that will win a bunch of Cups.

Here's another thing Oilers fans do that bugs the shit out of me: they take pleasure in mocking the Toronto Maple Leafs. They say that the Leafs "suck," and that they're "bums" and "choke artists," yet they have no problem watching their team take players from Toronto. Zach Hyman, who has 50+ goals this season? Ex-Leaf. Cody Ceci? Ex-Leaf. They also had Jack Campbell and Tyson Barrie--two more ex-Leafs. Oh, and last year was the year that the Leafs won a series for the first time in 19 years. Leafs lost Round 2 in five games. Oilers lost Round 2 in six games. So the Oilers finished one game better than the Leafs in last year's playoffs. Bravissimo...

As I said before, I like Connor McDavid. I can't help but like him. The man is scaring the shit out of the rest of the league...well, except the Avalanche. A kid this good deserves to win the whole thing. There's just one problem: he's with the Edmonton Oilers. The Oilers have a knack for snatching defeat from the jaws of victory, especially when it counts. It is definitely not the fault of McDavid, and his cohort in ass-kicking, Leon Draisaitl, is not to blame as well. They just absolutely blow it. They're who everyone thinks the Maple Leafs are.

I will say this, though. We did have a good laugh when the Oilers had that terrible start. They were 31st in the league at one point. How did they respond? Oh, nothing much. All they did was win 16 straight games. That's no big deal, right? Even crazier, the separation between themselves and the Vancouver Canucks is getting smaller. Can the Oilers actually win the Pacific? They have a shot, but what the hell will they do with it?

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About the Creator

Clyde E. Dawkins

I am an avid fan of sports and wrestling, and I've been a fan of female villains since the age of eight. Also into film and TV, especially Simpsons and Family Guy.

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Comments (2)

  • Babs Iverson3 months ago

    Terrific story!!! Loved your review!!!💕❤️❤️

  • Philip Gipson3 months ago

    Your knowledge of sports once again prevails. This story was a real blast to read.

Clyde E. DawkinsWritten by Clyde E. Dawkins

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