Shawn Michaels vs. Razor Ramon

The two belts are hung high above the ring. Ladies and gentleman, we have ourselves a ladder match tonight!

Shawn Michaels versus Razor Ramon! Tonight we will find out who the true Intercontinental Champion is! Shawn Michaels was stripped of the title for not defending it enough… Or so they say… And Razor Ramon won the new belt through a grueling tournament… Michaels refuses to accept this fraudulent champion however, as Michaels never actually lost the title… No love lost between these competitors… We’re bound to have ourselves one hell of a match!

As said, we got ourselves a ladder match. No disqualification. No pin-falls. No submissions! This match is all about who can climb that ladder first and fetch those belts from their place above…

And Shawn Michaels makes his entrance… ‘Sexy Boy,’ plays over the loudspeakers as Michaels twirls into the ring, accompanied by his great big body guard, the man known as Diesel… Michaels is wearing white full-legged tights with his signature broken hearts print, the hearts in rich red… And don’t even get me started on his sweet perm pseudo-mullet…

Simply awesome…

Shawn works the ladies, takes off his shirt, sticks out his ass. As the King says, “The ladies love this!” And it appears they do, the crowd pops for Michaels… And Razor Ramon’s music begins to play…

Ramon makes his way down to the ring, his hair slicked back and greasy, his gold chains melting down his hairy chest. (Imagine a mix between Tony Montana and Gaston basically…) He’s wearing black wrestling briefs with razorblade designs in gold on his backside and black pads and boots… He tempts the fates by walking under a ladder on his way to the ring… It’s the Bad Guy! He takes off his vest and hands all that gold to someone at ringside, making sure to give the fool a talking to about taking care of those chains…

And the bell rings… This match is underway…

Michaels leans out and has a few words with Diesel before the two combatants circle each other in the ring. A half rotation and the two men stop to stare each other down… I got a feeling this match is going to test both of these fellas, they both look like they have a point to prove…

They both lunge forward for the lockup… Ramon’s size is apparent… He’s a big dude, maybe not as big as Big Daddy Cool, but big… Michaels gets Razor in a quick headlock… Michaels with that speed—he rotates around his opponent, never not touching the big fellow, always knows his competitor’s placement… Michaels with an arm lock from behind…

Razor struggles… Reversal by Ramon…

Arm-lock from behind by the Bad Guy… Heartbreak Kid struggles… Michaels bends forward, uses his free hand to grab Ramon’s forward foot… Michaels pulls the larger man off his feet… Ramon on his back, his leg between Michaels’ who is still standing… Razor pushes Michaels forward with his free leg…

Heartbreak Kid off the ropes… Over Ramon who’s on his belly on the mat… Razor to his feet to meet Michaels off the far ropes… Shawn tries for the hip-toss… Block by the larger man in black… Michaels quick not only on foot but in mind… He gouges the Bad Guy’s eye and forces Ramon to double over…

Michaels places his leg over the back of Razor’s head, trying for an inverted leg drop bulldog… Razor pops up… No dice for Michaels… Look at that! Michaels so damn nimble! A full backflip and he lands on his feet!

No time to celebrate…

Razor with a brutal choke-slam driving Shawn to the mat! Razor to his feet… Michaels stands but staggers, he’s clutching his back, that last move must have really taken it out of him… Razor Ramon stalking his prey… A sharp fist to the face… Looks like Michaels really felt that one… Shawn backed into the ropes… Razor grabs the one in white and sends him to the far ropes…

Shawn Michaels off the ropes… He ducks under a big clothesline by the Bad Guy… Again off the ropes… Again he ducks a clothesline—this time Michaels is prepared! Swinging neck-breaker by Shawn Michaels!

Ramon slow to rise… Michaels not going to give him any time… A big boot to the back of the skull… Again a heel to the head! The Heartbreak Kid pulls his opponent up by his oil-slicked hair… He takes Razor to the corner… He’s going to smash this charlatan’s face into the turnbuckle! Ramon ain’t having it! He stops Michaels’ momentum! Reversal! Michael’s head bounces off the turnbuckle and Razor makes some space…

Michaels pushes the Bad Guy… A smile on Razor Ramon’s face as he backs up, gives himself some distance… A mistake for Michaels… Ramon with a big body block, gaining momentum in his charge from the distance made…

Michaels hard onto the mat… Razor off the ropes… The Heartbreak Kid quick to his feet… He steps to the side, pushes Ramon forward… Razor with a loss of control… He goes through the top and middle rope and to the outside…

Razor Ramon slow to his feet… Flying to the outside had to do some damage… He stumbles, unaware of his surroundings… This is no time to be unaware!

Diesel tails Razor on the outside… Razor notices but it’s too late… A huge clothesline by Big Daddy Cool!

Diesel stands over the fallen Ramon… The referee reprimands Diesel but the big man only returns strong words… The referee isn’t having it, not in his ring… Diesel in the ring, trying to intimidate the ref… What a brave man, standing there not even flinching in front of Diesel’s over seven foot frame…

Michaels’ bodyguard is as stubborn and as hotheaded as he is big though, and the official is sick and tired of the big man’s antics… Diesel is getting kicked out of WrestleMania! Take your silly-ass glasses and get up on outta here Big Daddy Cool!

This is just what the Bad Guy needed! He’s recovered during all the drama with Diesel… He’s got his eyes on the distracted Shawn Michaels… He sneaks forward toward Michaels standing on the ropes, leaning out to watch his massive… Pardon the pun… advantage walk down the ramp, banned from ringside…

Razor Ramon strikes! That big fist catches Michaels right in the face! The Heartbreak Kid flies backward off the ropes and hits the mat hard on his back… Ramon isn’t done and slides into the ring… Michaels on his feet but still yet to recover fully… The Bad Guy backs him into the corner… Michaels catches another cutting fist to the face before Razor sends him into the far corner…

Would you look at that! Shawn Michaels never ceases to amaze! He front flips as he nears the turnbuckle and uses the middle ropes for momentum! The Heartbreak Kid is now sitting on the top rope! He’s like a cat… An 80’s rockstar cat… With a wicked mullet…

Michaels bounces once on the top rope before balancing himself and rolling backward in a neat little backflip off the corner and to his feet. Spry… Not having Diesel is only a small setback—this is Shawn Michaels we’re talking about! And this is what he is showing Razor Ramon as his bounces like a fresh fighter around the ring…

Maybe not… Shawn Michaels still looks dazed coming off his flashy corner maneuver… The Bad Guy isn’t going to give his opponent any time—as Michaels as already shown, he can pull a trick out of nowhere in an instant unexpected! Now that’s a tongue twister! Razor Ramon with a huge clothesline sending Michaels over the top rope and to the outside…

Ramon looks down at his opponent from the ring in disgust… He’s tired of Shawn Michaels and all the Heartbreak Kid’s shenanigans—stealing his necklaces and claiming Ramon ain’t the rightful title holder… It’s time to shut this esé’s mouth and show him something…

Razor to the outside… Shawn on his feet… The Bad Guy with a big right hand to the jaw… Michaels is sent stumbling, clutching his beaten face—this hasn’t been the first fist its experienced this evening!

What is Razor doing? He’s pulling up the mats at ringside! He’s exposing the dangerous concrete underneath!

Michaels recovers and makes his way toward his opponent who is distracted by his own sinister plot… Shawn Michaels returns Ramon’s favor by catching the Bad Guy with a breaking blow to the chin!

And the Heartbreak Kid sends Razor Ramon back into the ring…

Michaels isn’t going to give the other man an instant and he rolls into the ring nearly side by side with his stunned rival… Both men to their feet… What a brawl this is turning into! Michaels with another fist to Ramon! Another! Another! Razor backs into the ropes, Shawn grabs him and sends him into the far ropes… Reversal by Ramon! Michaels off the ropes…

A huge uppercut to the jaw by Razor Ramon! That knocked the spit right outta Michaels! His head went back like he was in a car crash! He bounces off the ropes after reeling backwards… And Razor with a big boot to Michaels’ midsection! It looks like he’s setting it up! Ramon’s finishing move—the Razor’s Edge! The crowd is wild with anticipation as he indicates the time has indeed arrived…

And Shawn Michaels with a reversal! You can never count the Heartbreak Kid out! With his head between Ramon’s legs, Michaels straightens up and lifts the much larger man! Michaels instinctively moves backwards and nears the ropes… And the Heartbreak Kid once again sends the Bad Guy to the outside!

Even the best laid plans… Razor Ramon’s earlier plan of exposing the concrete has worked against him! The big man in black comes crashing to the bare and unforgiving floor below!

Shawn Michaels takes a moment to catch a breath, though he knows he doesn’t have long… Razor Ramon lies on the cold concrete clutching his elbow; with no protection from the mat the Bad Guy could have easily broken something…

Michaels has taken all the time he can afford and he makes his way out of the ring… He’s not bothering with the Bad Guy, oh no… Michaels is going for the ladder… He’s slow on his feet, tired and hurt…

Shawn dragging the ladder to the ring… As said many times before, he’s not the biggest this sport as ever seen, and he struggles with that heavy silver and coated red steel… Razor uses the time to his advantage and is ready and waiting for the Heartbreak Kid’s return…

Razor Ramon with another concussing blow to the skull!

Michaels drops the ladder and reels… Razor sends his opponent back into the ring before turning to retrieve the ladder… Can’t take your eyes off Michaels for a minute! Michaels off the far ropes as Razor slides the ladder into the ring…

Michaels with a huge running start and a fantastic sliding kick! He slides into the ladder like he’s taking home plate and the steel crashes into the arms and torso of his villainous challenger!

Razor Ramon falls to his knees outside but after a struggle manages to maintain his feet… Michaels not letting up… He exits the ring and creeps up behind his battered opponent… Razor doubled over, that ladder coming to crash with his abdomen may have fractured some ribs; it looks like he’s finding it hard to breath… Michaels doesn’t care—this is a wrestling match! The Heartbreak Kid grabs the back of Ramon’s head and slams the big man’s skull right into the steel steps! I take back what I said—this isn’t a wrestling match!—it’s an all-out brawl!

Razor tries to make some distance between him and the challenger… Michaels circles ‘round but is quick to get back on his opponent… Shawn sends Ramon back into the ring before walking around to the side of the abandoned ladder… And Michaels reintroduces that dangerous steel tool into the ring…

One of these fellas still have to climb that ladder and retrieve those belts to win this match, brawl or not…

Razor Ramon back to his feet as Shawn Michaels enters the ring and takes up the ladder from the mat… Both men’s gazes fall upon each other briefly and Michael’s ain’t going to give the Bad Guy any time to figure out a way to slime his way out of this one… Michaels charges forward with the ladder, and like a battering ram, that steel comes clash with the flesh and bone of Razor Ramon’s already damaged abdomen! Both the ladder and Razor fall to the mat, though only the man writhes in horrible agony…

Razor still on the mat, clutching his head and chest… Michaels wasting not a moment… He grabs that big heavy ladder and straightens it, the top rung resting on the mat and the legs pointed at the ceiling… Shawn Michaels nears the still downed Ramon… He straddles the other man, weapon still in hand… Michaels lifts the ladder high into the air before bringing it down in a hard descent upon Razor’s ribcage…

Razor curling up on the canvas as Michaels lets the ladder fall to the mat… Ramon tries to recover, crawling around on all fours… Michaels again picks up the ladder and lifts it over his head, this time length-wise… And steel and flesh and bone again collide as the weapon is brought down on Razor Ramon’s arched and exposed back…

Michaels grabs the ladder by the top rung and watches his opponent, sore and struggling, attempt to find his feet… Ramon nears the far ropes and tries to use them to help him stand… The Heartbreak Kid waits for the perfect moment… Razor leans forward, his chest to the ropes, his body weak… Michaels finds his opening and raising the ladder high above his head length-wise yet again, the man in the white tights tosses that heavy steel construct into the exposed back of the Bad Guy…

Razor clutches the arch of his back and stumbles about the ring before falling once again to the mat… Michaels looks nearly as exhausted as his opponent as he wanders around the ring trying to catch his breath… Still winded, Michaels scoops up the ladder and drags it to the center of the ring…

He’s setting up the ladder! Shawn Michaels is going for the belts! He’s going for the win!

Razor Ramon on all fours… He’s bruised and beaten, but he ain’t done yet! He crawls toward the erect ladder where Shawn is already on the fourth, going on fifth rung… He grabs Michael’s foot! The Heartbreak Kid keeps climbing! He’s reaching for the titles! He brushes them with his hand and back and forth they swing! Razor finding his feet and getting a better grip on his opponent! Michaels hits Razor Ramon with a kick to the face! Ramon still holding on as he falls to the mat…

Oh my goodness gracious! It’s a full moon tonight ladies and gents! Shawn Michaels’ ass is hanging right out his wrestling shorts! The Bad Guy has pulled down the Heartbreak Kid’s britches! All the way to the bottom of the cheek even! As the King said earlier: “The ladies love this!”

Michaels unabashed… Ass flashed or not, the Heartbreak Kid stays in stride… Ramon lying on his back on the mat… Michaels off the ladder with a big elbow drop! He hits dead on and Razor Ramon rolls onto his stomach as Shawn Michaels pulls up his pants and gets readjusted…

Ramon still down… Michaels nears the ladder… What’s he going for here? Michaels moves the ladder closer to the corner of the ring, it seems more work must be done before the Heartbreak Kid can claim his victory…

Looks like Michaels wants to end this one soon… He pulls Ramon to the center of the mat before turning around and climbing to the top turnbuckle closest to that erect ladder… Michaels from the top turnbuckle to the fifth rung… He straddles the ladder… Moves to the side closest his opponent…

Michaels off the second-to-top rung of that ten foot ladder with high flying splash coming to crash on the already-worked ribs of Ramon!

Both men look like they felt that one… How could they not! All that force and brutal collision!

Michaels first to his feet… It doesn’t even look as though Ramon has yet imagined finding his feet… The Heartbreak Kid sees another opportunity and heads back up the ladder… He’s reaching for the titles!

Razor staggers toward the man in the white tights, the bright lights of the arena cause the golden razorblades to shine on the briefs of the Bad Guy… Could this be a sign he is coming back? Like a flash, Razor finds his feet and grabbing the side of the ladder with both hands begins to shake the structure… Michaels holding on for dear life…

And Razor sends the ladder to its side with Michaels still attached… Shawn releases but too late, his neck and chest bounce off the top rope to propel him sprawling backwards onto the mat… Razor too lays on the canvas, trying to recover some strength, his last effort exerting a good amount of his energy…

Both men fight to get to their feet… They find footing almost in unison… The two charge each other and lock up… Michaels powers Ramon to the ropes before using the momentum to send his opponent to the far side… Razor off the ropes… Michael drops to the mat… Razor leaps over Michaels… Razor off the ropes again… Michaels to his feet…

Razor with the body block… Michaels with a fist to the Bad Guy’s face… Both men down! And there they lay… Two worn and beaten combatants…

Both men lay for some time on the mat… Michaels slowly makes it back to his feet, Ramon still down… Shawn grabs the ladder and collapses it before leaning the dangerous weapon in the far corner… Michaels meets Razor before his opponent can fully stand and the Heartbreak Kid helps him up by the hair before delivering a hard blow to the face… Michaels corrals Razor into the corner before grabbing the Bad Guy’s arm and attempting to send him into that leaning ladder…

And a reversal by Razor! Ramon sends Michaels into the ladder instead and the Heartbreak Kid hits hard before tumbling over the obstruction, as well as the top rope, and spilling to the floor outside…

Razor to his feet… He could go for the win right here! Wait… Razor isn’t done with Shawn yet, not after all the damage the Heartbreak Kid has caused in this match… Razor Ramon outside the ring with the ladder… Michaels to his feet but unprepared! Ramon with a running start smashes into Michaels and sandwiches the man between the steel ladder and the steel ring post!

Michaels struggles to make distance while nursing his chest… Razor readies the ladder for a second attack and begins to stalk his prey… And the Bad Guy smashes the weapon into Michaels’ back! The force sends Shawn’s body forward and his skull collides with the ring post! Things aren’t looking good for the Heartbreak Kid!

Michaels stumbles forward and falls to the ground on the outside… Razor is weary but he follows his prey like a big tanned tiger with well-oiled black fur… Shawn Michaels lays wounded in the ring entrance pathway… Ramon leans the ladder against the ring on the outside… He grabs Michaels by the hair and roughs him up a bit… What is he going for here?!

The Bad Guy indeed… Razor Ramon grabs Michaels’ ankles and sharply pulls backward, raising Michaels from the ground… Michaels is launched face-first into the ladder! Oh the humanity! Shawn hits so hard he clings to the ladder in his stunned state, much to his own dismay! As Michaels falls backward to the outside mat he pulls the ladder down on top of him! How the tables have turned!

Razor exhausted and slow to rise on the outside but he’s first to his feet… The Bad Guy pulls Michaels up and tosses the smaller man into the ring… Ramon follows his opponent in after picking up the ladder and bringing it with him…

And Michaels rises just in time for Ramon to swing that top steel rung right into his gullet! And Michaels is over the top rope and to the outside…

This may be Razor Ramon’s chance! He’s going to seize the opportunity! Razor sets up the ladder in the center of the ring…

Michaels rises on the outside… He creeps into the ring… Crawls to the top rope… Razor is climbing that ladder… And Shawn Michaels off the top rope with an axe-handle to Ramon! The two men, as well as the ladder, topple to the mat, that construct landing directly onto the Heartbreak Kid!

Both men slow to rise… Michaels sets up the ladder and he tries to stand… Both men at the base of the ladder on opposite sides…

And Razor Ramon and Shawn Michaels are both climbing the ladder in tandem! Shawn with the speed—he beats his opponent to the top and sends a fist to Ramon’s face…

The Bad Guy reels backward but doesn’t release his grip… Razor returns the Heartbreak Kid’s blow! Michaels reels, returns… Razor reels… Returns… Michaels tries to return fire but this time Razor is ready! Block by Ramon! More knuckles to Michaels… The man in black grabs the Heartbreak Kid… Is he going for a suplex off the ladder?! No! Instead Ramon pulls Michaels up similar to a suplex but doesn’t follow his opponent to the mat… Michaels crashes to the canvas below!

And Ramon follows suit! The ladder has busted! That frame has buckled from all the abuse endured and dealt throughout the match! Razor and Michaels on the mat… Razor quick to rise—he isn’t going to let something like a broken ladder ruin his chances of winning this match…

Razor Ramon sets up the broken ladder and begins his slow ascent… Michaels backs into the corner and tries his best to catch his breath… Razor high on the ladder… Michaels outta nowhere dropkicks the ladder! And the Bad Guy falls to the mat after just barely touching the titles, leaving that ladder just teetering between the two grounded men…

Shawn Michaels crawls toward the ladder… He eyes the rungs but it is clear he is winded… Michaels decides against another attempt at that taxing climb and instead sends the ladder to topple over onto his still grounded opponent! And that steel once again crashes into the beaten body of Razor Ramon…

The Heartbreak Kid has bought himself a bit of time… Not much, and he rises rather quickly and makes his way over to Ramon… Michaels pulls Ramon up by his hair and backs him into the ropes… Razor sent to the far ropes… Michaels tries to catch the speeding man with a punch… Razor ducks the attack… Razor off the ropes… And Shawn Michaels hits that Sweet Chin Music!

Both men down on the mat but Michaels quick to rise… He heads to the ropes but decides against an attack… He panders to the crowd… Could he be going for another Sweet Chin Music? Will Ramon even rise from the first?

No, not another Sweet Chin Music… Michaels wants to add insult to injury here! He pulls his opponent up by that greasy mane and yanks the man’s head between those whiteHtighted legs… Michaels is going to Razor’s Edge Razor Ramon! He’s going to use the Bad Guy’s own move against him!

Not enough strength in Michaels, especially with the beating he has taken throughout this match… Shawn instead pulls Razor up and sits down for a big piledriver! Ramon might not be getting up from that one!

Michaels rises and folds up that bent and twisted ladder… He pulls the weapon into the corner of the ring and heads up to the second rope… Michaels to the top rope… What is he doing here?!

Michaels hops toward the ladder and rides that steel dragon down onto Razor Ramon’s sprawled body! If his ribs weren’t broken before I’ll bet money they are now! And Michaels rolls forward and slowly rises to his feet using the ring ropes for aid…

The Heartbreak Kid again picks up the ladder, but this time it looks like he’s going for the win… He sets the ladder up over his opponent’s crumpled frame and begins the long climb… Michaels on the second to last rung… He’s reaching for the championship!

And Razor rises! The big man begins to fiercely shake the construct with Michaels clinging on for dear life! Michaels ain’t coming off and that ladder ain’t going down… Razor has another plan… Razor off the ropes with a big body block to the red and shining steel! Michaels through the air in all the wrong places! He racks his nuts right on the ring ropes and hangs there in agony… This, the ladies do not like…

From bad to worse for Shawn Michaels! As he falls from the rope his foot tangles between the top and middle ropes… He’s snared like an animal in a trap! And Michaels fights to pull the ladder toward him as Razor Ramon rises and walks toward the twisted tool…

Ramon yanks the weapon from the Heartbreak Kid’s reach and goes to work setting it up in the center of the ring… With Michaels tied up, there ain’t nothing to stop Razor from winning now, esé… Michaels in the fight of his life as he tries to get his leg from out the ropes… Razor at the top of the ladder, reaching for those titles…

And Michaels frees himself! Michaels frees himself!

But it’s all for naught!

Razor Ramon falls from the ladder to the mat, the Intercontinental Titles cradled close to his hairy, chiseled chest…

Shawn Michaels has lost…

The Bad Guy has taken the titles.

Razor Ramon climbs back to the top of the ladder to thrust his prizes into the air, to stand over his fallen opponent, the man in white, Shawn Michaels…

Así es la vida… Esé…