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They May Be Among Us

by Christopher Wolverton 4 years ago in satire / politics

My theory for if extraterrestrials are real.

We've all seen the videos. Strange lights zooming around in the night sky, doing aerial acrobats that normal planes and jets couldn't possibly do. Crop circles appearing seemingly without cause. And, of course, the stories of people who believe they were abducted at one point or another.

Such as the stories of Clayton and Donna Lee. They're a married couple who resided in Texas. They claimed to have been abducted a number of times, one time involved the fetus Donna was pregnant with being snatched away. Are these people lying for publicity? Do they just have psychological trauma that creates these crazy "memories"? Well, since we have yet seen any real proof, and since the vast majority of us have never had such experiences, it's easy to shrug these stories off, and deem the victims crazy.

However, I want you to open your minds just a little. Let's pretend aliens are real, and that they have been able to contact us for a long time. That could explain a lot of things, even going as far as to explain the creation of ours and every other species on this planet. We absolutely would have no idea what these sentient beings would be capable of.

Now, here's a question to ask yourself, why haven't these mighty beings contacted us? The answer: maybe they already have. A quick Google search brings up thousands of entries of Unidentified Flying Objects (UFO's) crashing to earth. There's also a ton of stories claiming that the U.S. has shot down UFOs. If these stories are to be believed, why haven't the aliens retaliated, or wiped us off the face of the earth? Well, maybe their revenge is a bit more subtle than that.

What if, they're already among us, and they hold positions of power? Here's the theory I myself have thought up. Now, assuming that extraterrestrials are real, have made contact with us, and we have shot down some of their own kind, maybe they've decided to ruin our lives? This past election, the two candidates that were likely to win (nobody realizes that there is always a third option) were absolutely horrible.

On the Democratic side, we had someone who actually had political experience, and we would assume, would know the kind of choices a president SHOULD make. However, with the whole emails scandal, and her apparently being the cause of a ton of deaths of our soldiers, she proved to not be trustworthy. Assuming that the evidence was real of course.

On the Republican side, we had a reality TV "celebrity" who didn't seem to have as bad a reputation (other than the allegations of sexual assault, and one of him raping a thirteen-year-old in the nineties) but didn't have any prior experience in politics. He had even gone bankrupt a few times. However, he made a lot of promises and acted just like the stereotypical trailer trash. Condoning violence, and having bigoted opinions. Being a "businessman" was one of the many screwed up reasons people I know voted for him.

The point being, we seemed screwed from either side. Now, here's where the conspiracy begins. What if they, among other people in position of power, are aliens. Or, at the very least, are humans under the control of aliens. Trump winning the electoral vote can definitely be explained by this, for who in their right mind would hire somebody without any prior experience? This isn't a job at a McDonald's, this is a presidency.

Look at the decisions he's made thus far. Most seem to be against helping us citizens. Most seem to be putting money in the pockets of his family and friends. Then, there's the recent health care bill. Sure, he didn't exactly write it up, but he definitely didn't veto it and seemed to stand behind it.

Look at his cabinet as well. Kellyanne Conway could definitely be passed as alien, along with many others in his cabinet. All of them seem to be rather evil, and nobody in their right mind would support or even be acquainted with such people. If aliens are real, if aliens are here, and if we did shoot one of them down, this may be how they're going to destroy us. One evil politician at a time.


Christopher Wolverton

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