GOP Lawmakers Are Wearing AR-15 Pins Now

Replacing what were previously-worn pins of the American flag, US representatives Anna Paulina Luna of Florida and George “I can’t decide what I want to be when I grow up” Santos of Parts Unknown, NY were seen in session today wearing AR-15 pins instead.

The NRA hasn’t been reached for comment as of yet, but reportedly are quite pleased with this sickening new development.

Less than 48 hours since a mass shooting in her home state, the tone-deaf Anna Paulina Luna has indeed confirmed that she is completely unable to or unwilling to read the room. AR-15s are the preferred weapon of white nationalist mediocre men everywhere. They are frequently used in mass shootings.

Rep. Lauren Boebert of the Fuck-Your-Feelings Party, who calls Colorado home, lamented today how American gun ownership “only” accounts for 46% of gun ownership worldwide. She was quoted as saying:

“We need to get our numbers up, Boys and Girls.”

Many speculate that she was indeed speaking to actual small children and teenagers by using the term “Boys and Girls”.

In a study from 2019, US citizens under the age of 18 accounted for 20% of the United States' total population. This equates to roughly 73 million citizens.

Remington, Colt, Ruger, and Browning (The gun companies, not the actual names of gun nuts’ children everywhere) are drooling at those numbers and rushing to ramp up production to satisfy the demand for firepower amongst American youth.

With the way things are going, Rep. Boebert will get her wish soon. Perhaps we can increase those numbers and break the 50% threshold of gun ownership worldwide, as a nation. Then we’d really be the most bad-ass, don’t-fuck-with-us nation in the world.

Make America Armed Again.

Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad, to arm America’s youth. Perhaps it would be good for Little Susie or Little Johnny to each have twin .45s strapped to themselves and an assault rifle propped up against their desk. And a couple of grenades each, in case the shit really goes down.

And go down, it shall. In 2022, we had 648 mass shootings in the United States, an 86% increase from five years prior. With over 50 already in 2023, we’re on pace to exceed over 600 mass shootings for the fourth year in a row.

Perhaps Little Johnny and Little Susie would have a fighting chance against the next deranged lunatic who bursts into their classroom with a… Wait, what type of gun was it again that mass shooters love so much? It slipped my mind.

Let me scroll back to the top of this article. Oh yes, an AR-15. Thank you, Rep. Luna and Rep. Santos. Those pins do serve a purpose, at least for this blog.

For the families who have lost their sons or daughters to a hail of bullets in a classroom setting though, it’s horrific to see these ignorant politicians wearing a symbol of those murder weapons that were used to slaughter their children. Imagine if your loved one was tasered to death by the cops, as was recently evidenced in the Keenan Darnell Anderson case out of Los Angeles.

Then the next day, instead of wearing their usual American flag pins, they have a pin of the highest-voltage, most bad-ass taser on their uniforms.

Seems a bit tone-deaf, eh? Read the fucking room, Luna and Santos.

Who’s Keenan Darnell Anderson? You’ve forgotten already? Well, it has been three whole weeks since that shit went down. I get it. There are a lot of these police murders these days. It’s hard to keep track of them all.

Say his name.

As has been the norm for quite some time, America is coming across as that trashy relative at the family reunion, as it relates to the worldwide stage. Kind of like that creepy uncle who you’d never allow your children to be alone with behind closed doors.

“Mom! Why are you being weird about Uncle Donald? We love him! He lets us sit on his lap and tell him how great he and America is!”

It’s been this way for eight or nine years now. The decline of America’s reputation and ethics has spiraled in the past decade. Not that it was that stellar and reputable to start with. But it used to be somewhat better.

Or did it? After all, weren’t we the country who slaughtered the Native American population, women and children included? Oh, but that was so long ago. It was different back then, you say.

We can go back further. How about bringing slaves over from Africa to work on plantations and farms because we were too goddamn cheap to pay for labor? Oh, but African Americans should just get over that by now, it’s been a few hundred years, right? Now, people of color are treated so well here in 2023. Oh, wait…

We also are the only nation in history that has dropped nuclear bombs on another country. Men, women, and children who had nothing to do with the war we were involved in died because we pushed the button. Perhaps Luna and Santos are going to sport mushroom cloud pins next?

All in all, we are looking more and more like the worst country on planet Earth. And if we don’t fix it soon, we’ll have earned whatever is coming to us next as we continue to arm our lunatic citizens and thumb our noses at the world.

What’s the next step? How do we fix this? It starts with not electing garbage humans in every election, as we seem hell-bent on doing every couple of years.