Bullied Into Boxers

There is a massive amount of Body-Shaming Issues with men’s undewear, much of it is tied to Homophobia.

I am a CIS gendered man with no homosexual tendencies in my early 50’s. I also must say that I do not consider myself a transvestite or cross-dresser. I do prefer a variety of underwear styles for men, I do not wear women's underwear, but some styles would cross gender lines though they are anatomically designed for men.

When I was growing up, I wore pretty much the same underwear as my dad…pretty much all that was available in a small rural town were tighty whities. As a teenager I transitioned into more of a tighter fitting jockey style high hip brief, and many of the boys in the locker-room were wearing the same or a loose fitted boxer. I tried the loose boxers and hated them every time, everything flopping around and not held in place was simply uncomfortable. I was also an avid swimmer in the late 1970’s and early 1980’s and the common men’s bathing suit for this sport was the Speedo, still is. I was a skinny guy and comfortable at the pool in this attire. The only other men’s swimsuits were just as tight, square cut shorts that were pretty darn short, I just watched the original Jaws movie from 1975 with my son and confirmed this, the average male swimsuit, had about a 1-inch leg cuff and was tight fitting.

In the late 1980’s I went off to university and as I was finding my own style, I also found that there was a much larger style selection of men’s underwear…in the big city. And this selection was not limited to specialty or Gay Friendly stores. The wide varieties of underwear were at Target, K-mart, Hudson’s, Saks, it was in your average and even many of the below-average department stores. There was pretty much the equivalent of every style of women’s underwear in a men’s equivalent. I could buy High cut men’s bikini underwear, and Tanga Style, basically a string bikini, with a fairly wide elastic at the sides holding the front and back together. There were also a large variety of men’s thongs, almost every brand had a thong style. Further, they were made out of a variety of materials from spandex blends to full 100% cotton depending on your preference. I, being a bit of an adventurous type had a few of each style and of various fabrics.

I even had a Tanga swimming trunk, basically, a men's string bikini, though seeing those on the beach were very rare, but a few men did wear them at the popular beach that I frequented.

I don’t recall any of my college girlfriends ever making any sort of fuss about any of the underwear that I was wearing, it seemed to be irrelevant, it could be it was just unsaid out of politeness if there was an issue.

I was able to buy most styles of underwear, Bikini, Thong, Tanga, in major department stores up until the late 1990s, and then I stopped. I had a girlfriend that was less supportive of my varied styles of underwear, not sure why. Basically, over a very short period of time, I transitioned to only boxers. Not the baggy cotton ones but never very tight, and long. Usually, 7- 9 inches long at the legs. Now as a guy with fairly hairy legs, I’ll tell you there is nothing like having your hair twisted into knots as your underwear chafe against your legs, it’s really not comfortable at all. I don’t know when women became so judgemental about men’s underwear. Women’s underwear have gotten more and more skimpy, and men’s have gotten more and more volumeus.

I will add that this seems to be a particularly North American trend, Guys all over Europe still sport the Banana Hammock proudly, and if you go looking on the internet for other styles of men’s underwear you will often find yourself in a store located in SE Asia. I get it, a lot of women don’t want to see, too much, and in many cases, smaller underwear on men is really a thing that takes something of a physique to pull off. Muscled and sculpted is obviously preferred but even somewhat skinny, should be ok, just not overweight thank-you but if we want to talk about body acceptance issues, we have to take the good with the bad on both genders.

I slowly transitioned to boxer briefs in much more modern styles and fabrics. But it was pretty much the only style of underwear that I had in my drawer, usually with about a 6-inch leg, as that seems to be most common but sometimes up to 9 inches which is just above the knee. As most of my underwear is sold in a box, I did pick up a box one time and it was a much shorter Trunk style boxer with only about 1 inch of leg…just what I have been looking for for years, comfortable, supportive, and no more knotted leg hair. I think my wife also found them to be pretty sexy also.

I got to thinking one day, why do I have basically only one style of underwear in my drawer? Come to think of it, I really only see two styles of underwear in the store and in the locker-room at the gym anymore. Who is policing this standard to such an extent that you can only buy one or two styles anymore? I used to have a wide variety until about 15 years ago, a style for any mood from grandpa briefs to thongs and every style in between.

I’m in a Calvin Klein store and I decide to buy some replacement underwear, Calvin’s are pretty sexy, both men’s and women’s, and I pick up a box in my size and take it home, not thinking too much about it. Turns out I have just purchased a High Cut on the hip bikini brief in the wrong box, but I live in a small town over an hour from where I bought them so I’m not returning them. In my small city I don’t think the major department store here even has anything this brief even though they sell Calvin Klein, they have my dad’s 1950’s style and loose and tight boxers…that’s all. Eventually, I get around to wearing the bikini briefs and my wife is pretty much shocked, “When did you buy those? Why did you buy those? Why do you keep wearing those?

What the hell does it matter, they are underwear, and she is the only one that will see me in them! They are comfortable and hold things in place nicely, if I had to say so, Quite Sexy. I like them so much that I buy a couple more bikini style on purpose the next time I’m in the city. I guess in a way it is taking me back to my 20’s and 30’s. I guess for a mid-life crisis, it’s not the worst thing that can happen. I should also add that I am working a more physical job and getting a bit of a better physique, so why not, they enhance the merchandise. And yet every time I wear a bikini brief, I get asked “Why do I wear those?” So I started asking my wife why she never wears any of the Thongs that I bought her, she used to wear them all of the time and although her body is not the same a few babies later, I still would find it incredibly sexy if she did. Her response is, "if I want the thongs worn, I should wear them."

While I never wore a thong to the gym change room, I would wear them under athletic clothes and sometimes under tight jeans as they simply made sense. I’m not sure when things changed in the Men’s Furnishings department, but it is nearly impossible to find anything other than Loose Boxers, Boxer Briefs, and Basic cotton Grandpa briefs in most stores. There are no other styles, not even simple men’s cotton bikinis in the stores in my area, except Calvin Klein which is near but not in my city.

Let’s talk about Men’s swimwear also. I recently bought what I thought were a very nice and loud set of swimming trunks. They are boxer style, and loose-fitting and have a liner, which I prefer. Most of the longer boardshorts do not have liners and just like the loose boxer underwear you are left flopping around and it can be very uncomfortable. The thing is that most lined trunks are shorter. These Guess branded trunks are a European length, the legs are only about 2 inches long. My other board shorts were knee-length. My wife couldn’t believe that I went out to the pool with our son in these new trunks. To her, these were something that she could only conceive a Gay Man wearing. I also bought some square cut trunks that are fitted, I guess I’m not allowed to wear these out in public. Nor should I wear my slightly shorter, but also loose-fitted, Diesel Trunks that are only about 1 inch of leg covering.

Why is it necessary to cover most of a guy’s leg with swim trunks or underwear? I don’t get it. My dingdong ain't that long, it's not going to suddenly drop out.

When I decided to look for other types of underwear, the Tanga for example, I had to go online and pretty much the only stores selling this product or thongs are clearly focused on the Gay Male with a presentation that is not fully welcoming to the straight male.

It is clear that somehow, female acceptance of the male body, something that we as men have been asked to embrace the female body in all of its fine diversity have had an impact on the men’s side of the equation. If we want equal rights, then let’s treat both sides equally in the realm of intimate apparel and swimwear. It is clear that this has had an impact, or the market would support the diversity of men’s underwear styles equivalent to women’s styles, and wouldn’t that be a very small part to making things equal, rather than having anything other than a Boxer, relegated to the periphery of what is mainstream gender acceptable in men’s knickers.

The Fashion Police Can Arrest You

It is not common, but I have read about being a male and wearing a thong to the swimming pool, I’m pretty sure that most places will throw you out and ban you, I have read some cases where charges of indecent exposure, fines actual Police arrest and banishment have even resulted in some places in the USA. And a swim brief, is just as bad as you walk by and every woman is mumbling “Ewe Speedo!”

I took my wife’s challenge up, that If I wanted her to wear a thong, then she should buy me one and I would wear it. She still hasn’t bought me one, and I even have a cute butt that can get away with it.