Divided By Duty
Divided By Duty

Things You’ll Only Understand If You’re Dating an Army Officer

by Sasha Konikovo 2 years ago in family

Dating an Army officer has good things and bad things associated with it—most of which civilians won't understand.

Things You’ll Only Understand If You’re Dating an Army Officer

If there's one thing that most people will never understand, or really even experience, it's what life is like when you're dating someone in the military. Whether you end up living military wife life or part ways, the truth is that military love isn't really like any other kind of dating you can ever try.

There's a lot of things that are hard to explain to civilians about your love life when you're dating someone who's in the military. This is doubly true when you're dating an Army officer. Don't believe it? Try explaining these things to the average couple.

You won't be able to explain why you sometimes sound like you're talking in code.

If you're dating an Army officer who's currently stationed abroad, then you know what I mean. You can't really divulge any of the details of his mission online or via phone, so it all tends to sound a lot like a woman talking to someone in the mafia.

"Are you going to be finished with the job soon?" takes on a whole new meaning when your spouse or boyfriend is abroad.

Don't ever call his Cam Cream "war paint," by the way.

It will never make sense to civilians, and truthfully, we really probably shouldn't ask why, but this is a pet peeve of so many military officers. Apparently, there's a difference.

It's also pretty hard to explain why you might end up feeling inadequate in the fitness realm when you're dating your boo, too.

When you're dating an Army officer, it's darned near impossible to actually keep up with them in the gym. If you're used to being the stronger, fitter one in a couple, this can be pretty jarring.

Usually, girls who date officers will end up hitting the gym double-time, or just get used to being the less "in shape" person of the duo. Either way, it's alright. He's paid to be fit—and you get to reap the benefits.

Time and punctuality take on a new role in your life when your boyfriend is an Army man.

Army men are all about being on time—army time, anyway. Go on a date at 15:00? You'll need to learn how to do the math to figure out whether or not it's actually a good time for you. Or, you might end up just running on military time.

On a similar note, you can never really be late when dating an Army officer. He will not be happy about it, and considering the way that the military works, he'll likely expect you to be punctual if things are going to go for the long term.

Another issue you'll have a hard time explaining is what your boyfriend's work life is like.

He's an Army officer, yes, but what does that mean? The US Armed forces are way more complex than most civilians know, and while you might learn some of the lingo, it's best to just assume you will not know it all.

The Army is both tight-lipped and a culture all its own, and that makes for a lot of confusion. Dating an Army officer, therefore, will mean that you won't really get what's going on with work—if you even get to hear anything at all, anyway.

You will also need to learn to love traveling.

If you're dating an Army officer and it's getting serious, I got some news for you. You'll need to prepare to travel. Chances are that he will end up getting stationed in a variety of different places. If you're going to be with him long term, then chances are that he will want to bring you in tow.

The good news is that the Army life also provides ample support for people who are traveling alongside their military partners. So, if you're packing, you'll never have to worry about being alone.

The stigma of dating a military member also can be pretty aggravating—and hard to explain to some civilians.

The word "dependa" will be one of the biggest slurs you'll hear coming in your direction. A lot of people assume that girls who are dating an Army officer are looking for free handouts from the government, free healthcare, or other similar goodies that are often given to military spouses.

It's very hard to explain to people that you might be judged for choosing to date someone in the military. Unless they were to see it themselves, they probably wouldn't fully believe how much flak you can get.

Trying to explain the camaraderie that military wives and girlfriends has is also similarly difficult.

The funny thing about dating a military member is that you're never just dating him. When you're dating an Army officer, you also end up linking up with fellow military spouses. They'll often help you out with tips for being a new military girlfriend or spouse, too.

With all the craziness that happens when you end up loving a military guy, you will often find that the fellow military spouses you meet will be the only ones who will understand. They'll be in your corner, and often will become your closest friends.

There's also something to be said about military balls.

Military balls are the best thing ever when you're dating an Army officer. You get to enjoy getting dressed up, get to enjoy seeing your partner in all their military finery, and even get to enjoy free drinks and hors-d'oeuvres.

You will feel like Cinderella. You'll love it, and will start to fantasize about getting married in proper military fashion after your first ball.

Finally, you'll understand how military wives "do it all."

Most people will never understand how some women could choose the military wife life. However, before they were military spouses, they were military girlfriends—or military boyfriends.

Life as a military spouse is high-pressure, often lonely, and can be downright brutal. Civilians are right to marvel at the strength of partnerships that can last through war.

Once you start dating an Army officer, you'll probably understand why people choose the life. It's not all bad, and it's one that's driven by love and partnership.

Sasha Konikovo
Sasha Konikovo
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Sasha Konikovo

Born in the Ukraine and currently a citizen of New York City, Sasha Konikovo has become obsessed with makeup, fashion, and anything that keeps her svelte figure looking sharp. She hopes to marry a billionaire and have a lifestyle like Paris Hilton soon enough.

See all posts by Sasha Konikovo