Peace

Five days. Nicholas had five days to finish his college entry essay. He was normally not a procrastinator, but lately he couldn’t find motivation. “Write about a transformational moment in your life.” The question loomed over him like a dark shadow he couldn’t shake. He mulled over instances in his life, but none seemed to spark enough interest or evoke a feeling of certainty. Anxiety was his new best friend. Nicholas had been staring at the blank computer screen for at least 15 minutes before his mom walked in.

“How is the essay going honey?”

“Horrible, I have no idea what to write about” sighed Nicholas.

“Why don’t you write about the time you sprained your ankle during your cross country race, but still managed to finish.”

“I thought about that, but I feel like I can come up with something better.”

“You know what you need?” his mom asked in an encouraging tone. Nicholas looked at his mom with heavy eyes.

“You need to say a prayer and then go for a walk and clear your head. Sometimes you need a fresh breathe of air and perspective.”

“That’s actually a good idea, I need to get out of my head and out of this house.” His mom laughed.

“Don’t worry, honey I know it’s going to work out for you.”

Nicholas walked outside his house, pausing before deciding where to go. Screw it, he said out loud and just started walking. He was tired of trying to map out everything in his head and always having a plan. His Type A personality helped him in his studies, but when it came to making small decisions he second guessed everything. A tiny voice in his head told him to just keep walking. Maybe it was time he let go.

Nicholas lost track of time but just kept walking. He stumbled upon a park he had never seen before. He stopped and looked around, feeling at ease for the first time that day. A large oak tree stood on the outskirts of the park, massive and beautiful. Nicholas felt an unwavering urge to climb it, something he hadn’t done since he was a kid. Up and up he went, limb by limb, feeling invincible as he got as far as he could. He took a deep breathe in as he soaked up his surroundings.

A bird landed on an outstretched limb and Nicholas watched it with curiosity. Something caught his eyes, and he noticed an opening in the tree, a U shaped indentation. As he got closer, he saw that something was inside it. Reaching into the hole, he pulled out a little black Moleskine notebook. Other than being dirty, it was in perfectly good condition. Nicholas opened it and the first page said property of Jack Byers, with a return address, 2309 Jennings Road, the same street as the park.

At first felt like it was an invasion of Jack’s privacy, but the curiosity ate at him so he opened it up. The first entry read, “First Baseball Game” with a picture of Jack and what looked like his mother. He flipped the page and read “First Home Run” with another picture of Jack and his baseball team. There were pages and pages of memorabilia and journal entries of special moments. “First Kiss with Jenny Mitchell” was Nicholas’s favorite story. He read the words out loud like they were his own.

I’ve had a crush on Jenny Mitchell since the 3rd grade. There is something about her that I can’t put into words (except right now). It wasn’t until the 8th grade that I grew the balls to finally ask her to our spring dance. She was shocked. She said I always teased her and thought I didn’t like her. I told her guys make fun of the girls they like. I couldn’t believe it but Jenny kissed me right then and there, right in front of Ms. Shaw’s classroom, and then ran away. I had to chase her down and told her she was the most beautiful girl in the school.

Nicholas couldn’t stop reading. It was refreshing to read the words of another guy, similar in age, going through life. Jack wrote about not wanting to go to college right away, his fears of his future, and his sour relationship with his dad.

The last entry took Nicholas by surprise.

Dear Journal,

This is my last entry. I decided to skip college and enlist in the army. I don’t know why exactly but it felt like the right thing to do. I can always come back and go to college, but right now in my life I want this chance to serve my country and do something to make my mom proud. She has sacrificed everything for me and after my dad my left, she was with me, through thick and thin. I know I messed up – ditching school and getting bad grades, but my mom never stopped believing in me. I think the army will teach me discipline and healthy habits that I honestly need right now in my life. Wish me luck. Jack.

Nicholas felt a heaviness in his chest. He flipped the next page, but there was nothing. He wanted to know how Jack was and if he was back from the army. There were no dates in the journal, so he wasn’t sure how long ago his last entry was. The small voice inside his head came back, telling him to go the address. Nicholas began to question it, but stopped. Doesn’t hurt to try he thought and Nicholas wanted to see if could meet Jack in person.

Nicholas walked the couple blocks to 2309 Jennings Road and knocked on the door. His hands were sweaty, but he knew instinctively he was making the right decision. An elderly woman opened the door. Nicholas instantly recognized Jack’s mother from the photo.

“Hi, may I help you.”

“Hi. This is a little awkward but my name is Nicholas and I was at the park down the street from your house. I found your son’s journal and thought he might be home, so I could give to him.”

Jack’s mom started to cry. She motioned for him to come inside as she needed a moment to regroup. She took the book from Nicholas eagerly as if he just given her a treasure map to millions of dollars.

“You don’t know how much this means to me,” said Jack’s mom. You see, Jack died in Afghanistan four months ago, and I am still grieving my son’s death. For days, I have been asking God for a sign.”

She started flipping through the pages, her tears growing in size.

“Thank you so much Nicholas. This is exactly what I needed to feel closer to my son.”

Nicholas got up and hugged her – even though they just met, he felt like he knew her. He felt her pain and felt like Jack had become one of his friends. Nicholas asked her tons of questions, and his mom instantly lit up talking about her son.

Nicholas told her about his essay and how he had come to find Jack’s journal.

“It was fate,” his mom said with a smile. She asked for his contact information and said she wanted to send him a thank you note and that it would be nice to stay in touch.

Nicholas felt an immense surge of happiness that he was able to help Jack’s mom. He felt renewed and on his way home, inspiration had finally struck. Nicholas got home and finished his essay.

A week later, Nicholas got a letter in the mail. He opened it and inside he found a check for $20,000 from Jack’s mom, reading “for college.” The note read, I was saving this for Jack’s tuition when he came back from the war. I have been severely depressed since Jack’s death and since receiving this journal, I finally feel alive again. Thank you for giving me peace.