Military Life

Depression and suicide in the military is a real thing. I never related or had experiences until recently this year. Questions started racing through my head like why am I always feeling like this? I’m not like myself..what is wrong with me? Why am I not getting the help I ask for? Is it because I’m struggling with my kids? Is it because I’m away from family? To get to the cause of the problem it was because I was having trouble in the workplace.

When I first entered the military I met some people who were on their way out; saying how much they can’t stand it and how they can’t wait to get out. Seeing the little motivation in their eyes, I never understood them until this year. Supervision is everything. The Air Force stresses the importance of good supervision (ALS, etc.), but let me emphasize how important GOOD supervision really is.

Honestly I’m not sure where things started going wrong and why they did. I went from doing a lot of great things at work/everyone liking me—and just being in a good work environment to a gossip/drama hostile environment.

It got to a point where I knew I was a smart individual but I would come into work questioning my ability everyday. I went from being very confident in myself to being very insecure. I went from being a happy, outgoing, nice, person to being sad, confused, and pathetic. The more days that went by I just kept feeling the same or worse.

I’ve learned this isn’t just the military it’s any job where you will deal with drama and gossip. A quote by Eleanor Roosevelt states:

“Great minds discuss ideas

Average minds discuss events

Small minds discuss people”

Gossiping is a chain reaction and supervisors need to put those discussions to an end instead of teaching brand new airmen straight out of tech school that this is tolerated.

I’ve seen it with my own eyes multiple times. Picking on someone every single day... bringing them down... making them feel worthless. I finally was that person. I’m a very outspoken individual—I have stressed my concerns/depression/stressors etc to everyone and anyone stating that I’m miserable and know I’m not myself but need help to fix it. Mental health was a complete waste of time. Medication didn’t work. I tried counseling again and just eventually gave up. Where else is there to go? I called mental health because I was having a mental breakdown and just needed to talk to someone— “Okay, we can get you in in three weeks.”

“Is there anyone I can talk to now? I really need to talk now.”

“Do you have feelings you want to commit suicide?”

“No ma’am.”

“Sorry three weeks is our next available appointment”

I’m lost.

As I mentioned earlier this can happen at any job. If you think about it, working full time takes up most of your day and if it’s not enjoyable; it can do damage. What’s different from any other job is that we are in the military in a state or country we’ve never been before, knowing no one and yet seeing the same people every day. Those people are supposed to be your family and when you’re telling them how you feel, you’re reaching out to mental health, you’re voicing your concerns but no one is helping or listening; you feel alone. Suicide feelings don’t happen overnight so why does no one listen or take you seriously till it’s already too late instead of trying to prevent it in the first place?

I just remember talking to my mom and her comforting me saying you only have a few more months this all shall pass. How did it even get to this point where my enlistment is coming to an end and I’m leaving my amazing Air Force career on a bad note?

I went from enjoying my job to dreading having to go.

I will tell you, all this has changed once new supervision came along. My feelings have changed completely. I’m once again looking forward to coming in to work everyday. I’m motivated to be a hard worker and an even better Airman. I had people tell me to just be positive and things will get better but I am telling you the only way to improve my situation was to have good supervision.

The Air Force quote is that the mission comes first. It’s the people who carry out the mission so in conjunction it’s essentially the people that come first. No one in the workplace wins when respect isn’t given. People need to feel good first in order to perform their best.

As a supervisor I suggest you:

Make your airmen feel important

Give them responsibility

Guide them in the right direction

Set them up for success

Help, be there, mentor, lift them up

So...

“To the person who hasn’t been them self lately..your spark will return, and you will shine like you were meant to. It’s difficult when you catch yourself not being you; when you feel your whole world falling apart before your eyes”

You need to surround yourself with people who see your value and remind you of it

Supervisors—please be those people.

Remember: "An appreciated person will always do more than what is asked of them.”

What is so amazing about the military is that we are people of all different backgrounds and we should use that to the best of our ability. Let’s come together and discuss ideas on how we can carry out the mission as a team.

“Coming together is a beginning.

Keeping together is progress.

Working together is success.”

#USAF