Army Acronyms and Whatnot Vol. 4

25MAY2021; 2320, TUE

We're quickly coming upon the final R.E.D. Friday (Remember Everyone Deployed) of the month, and "the unofficial start of summer", Memorial Day weekend. That being the case, among other factors, I figured why not break out my iPhone's Pages app again and reflect on some more personal military moments before they slip away forever.

Just to clarify a couple of points from the previous volumes—POG, or Personnel Other than Grunts, is pronounced like "Pogue" (rhymes with rogue/vogue/Hogue). Also, just because a service member indicates intent to "smoke you" doesn't necessarily mean that he's referring to corrective training, if you're "tracking what I'm putting down".

Another pair of pronunciation corrections—the 'I's in VBIED and HBIED are completely silent. Just like the 'D' in "Django Unchained" (classic film, simply put).

In any event, I'm not submitting any more rough drafts and I need to get some rest at some point. So, now for another cannonball:

Regrettably, cannon fodder is the very first term to immediately come to mind after the arguably lengthy intro. Even more concerning, IMHO (In My Humble Opinion) is the feasible notion that even the individuals most ignorant of military matters are more or less extremely likely to have a grasp of that verbiage; even if they've never once picked up a modern era book on war.

As the late, great Charlie Murphy would say, "We Got to Do Better"! Simple and plain—the cataclysmic and ubiquitous military funeral song, Taps, has been unequivocally too common these days ("22 a day is 22 too many").

At any rate, BOB (Big Orange Boss) keeps rising and setting all the same. That reminds me tho—it was unofficially SOP (Standard Operating Procedure) for my unit to primarily reserve the very common rain in the Pacific Northwest for our training days out "in the field".

"If it ain't raining, we ain't training!" That was a direct quote from a "drinking buddy" who instructed us to call him Unc, since he outranked us and we finally earned his trust enough for him to hook me, as well as a couple of other fellow Grunts in my unit, up with some of his PBR (Pabst Blue Ribbon [beer]) and Wild Turkey bourbon.

Sarge would've surely caught holy hell had the brass/big wigs/higher ups caught wind of his shenanigans; especially seeing as how the liquor came after the beer, if memory serves me right. Had CQ (Charge of Quarters) and/or SD (Staff Duty) came thru and seen us getting bent like so, Top (first sergeant [1SG]) would've been likely alternating with Cap(tain) on filleting Unc's "4th point of contact" (aka his rear end).

Speaking of Unc tho, I'm most def irate with the fact that he was a "stop-loss"; or rather forced to deploy to a "Godforsaken" war zone, again, despite being a "short timer"/post-(con)tract during the whole ordeal. I might could understand had he not lost his BFF (Best Friend Forever) on the previous "tour" (Rest In Power to Cpl. Farris and all the other Fallen of 5/20 INF).

Then again, who's to say that I would've certainly made it "back to the world" had Unc not been watching my six (or my back rather) while we were "over there" earning stripes together? Also, the way that he handled his out processing when we returned from Iraq— straight double OG (Original Gangsta)!

Nothing for nothing, the BAMF (BadAss MoFo) hopped on his Harley and said to hell with any and everything that he left on our base. Technically, that's called going AWOL (Absent WithOut Leave), and he could've feasibly landed himself straight into another SNAFU (Situation Normal, All F****d Up).

Any which way, as I reminisced a bit with my mom dukes earlier this evening, she promptly reminded me that my score on the ASVAB, or Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery (test), was high enough for me to select just about any job I wanted in the military. Of course, on the flip side there was my former BFF (I know) who couldn't even pass the practice version, and was what recruiters refer to as a CAT-4 (Category Four).

I never went recruiting, so, Idk exactly what that means per se. However, I kinda sorta remember that my oral health made me a CAT-4, thus disqualifying me temporarily, in the run up to my 1st and only deployment.

On a similar note, I'm finna do some oral hygiene and look at the back of my eyelids for a NY minute or so, immediately after proofreading and submitting this more or less random piece. If you're one of those folks out there that are absolutely in love with my musings for whatever reason, please feel free to Like/Tip/Share.

Thx in advance. Peaceful Tidings.