Why Do People Think Single Means Desperate? (And My Revenge Escape)

Why Do People Think Single Means Desperate? (And My Revenge Escape)

What is it with society and single women? Why do people automatically assume that if a woman doesn't have a husband, she must be completely desperate? It’s as if they think we will just take absolutely anyone who crawls our way, eagerly accepting whatever unwanted trash they decide to push onto us.

Do these busybodies even know what love is? Apparently not. They don't think about romance, mutual respect, or attraction at all. Yet, they boldly claim the right to decide who is "match" for us and who we should end up with. In my case, because these toxic former coworkers viewed me as socially awkward and far from the conventional beauty standards, they thought they could play God. These local aunties tried to set me up with a guy that they themselves openly described as a complete loser. They literally handed me their garbage.

Looking back, I seriously wondered if I could sue them for emotional distress. The nasty, condescending remarks that came out of their mouths were so vile that they would never dare say them to anyone else. But it’s in the past now. I finally gathered my courage and quit that toxic workplace. Even though a part of me still harbors resentment and craves revenge, I am honestly too exhausted to care. Still, every now and then, I look back and laugh to myself, thinking, "Honey, look at your own face first. You are nowhere near perfect, and your sanity is questionable at best!"

Right now, I am currently unemployed. I won't sugarcoat it—I can be lazy, I am definitely not the standard "beauty type," and I am feeling incredibly overwhelmed about where to go next. At my old job, my salary barely scraped past the provincial minimum wage. On top of the pathetic pay, the management completely hid all labor laws from me. At first, I was ignorant and too unbothered to look up my own legal rights. But once I educated myself and realized how badly I was being exploited, I decided that leaving was the only option.

I actually ended up filing a formal complaint against them. Sadly, I only got a partial financial settlement because I had carelessly deleted most of the evidence beforehand. The employer even tried to intimidate me, threatening to counter-sue. Did I flinch? Hell no. But because my financial resources are tight and going to court requires travel and living expenses, I ultimately chose to drop it. I conceded to being at a disadvantage just to get them out of my life. My compliance probably made them puff up their chests, thinking their wealth could buy my fear. Let them think they won. The truth is, I said my defiances in my head, and they are the ones losing sleep.

The nightmare isn't completely over yet, though. The social security dispute is still ongoing. The petty ex-boss still insists that it was my fault. He is currently stalling and refusing to pay his required contributions into the system. Why? Because he never deducted or submitted a single dime for my social security since day one. Now he faces massive, mounting state penalties. His ridiculous excuse is that he "asked me first" and that I allegedly refused to join. In the eyes of the law, that excuse is completely invalid.

Ultimately, I don’t want to blame anyone else. I walked into that trap myself out of sheer poverty. When your life options are limited, you have to beg for a job just to survive. But I never anticipated they would repay my hard work with such malicious "sincerity." Back when I was still trapped there, I used to daydream out loud about starting my own small business or taking extra classes to better myself. Every time I shared a dream, they would snidely mock me, saying, "Keep dreaming. You're way too old for that."

The hilarious irony? I wasn't even 30 yet, and the person telling me I was "too old to dream" was pushing 50! I was genuinely confused. Were they projecting their own mid-life misery onto me? Most of the time, I just sat there seething with rage, unable to fire back a witty response because I was too shocked by their audacity. But none of that matters anymore. I am out, I am free, and their bitterness can no longer touch me.