Why Are We Still Scared??!!

Sometimes, I can sit and think for a long time before starting a piece of writing. I plan it through carefully and thoughtfully, with a specific structure in mind before I start to type. Sometimes, however, I can simply see something or experience something, and with it there comes a sudden need to write all of my thoughts down with absolutely no structure or plan whatsoever. This particular piece of writing is a product of the latter.

As some people know, I was lucky enough to spend the first part of August up in Scotland for the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, which was, all-in-all, a wonderful experience. I had ten days worth of doing my own performances, seeing shows, going to parties, and, of course, I took a walk up Arthur's Seat. This year, though, I promised myself that whilst I was there, I should definitely go and see a show that focused around mental health. So, I did just that. I stumbled across a flyer for a one-woman stand-up show called "Fun to Be Around" by Clay Nikiforuk ("Clay as in the stuff"), and it was one of the most eye-opening but also relatable things I have seen in a long time. I left the show feeling so ridiculously happy that there was someone out there in the world who was not only helping mentally ill people to feel less alone with their problems but was simultaneously educating others on the topic. Her show was one that focused mainly on psychosis but also dabbled in depression, anxiety, eating disorders, and also suicide and referred to itself as a "dark comedy."

Now, when I asked my peers if any of them wanted to go and see this "dark comedy" show about one woman's journey through mental illness, the response was (in all honesty) less than enthusiastic. I mean, why would anyone want to sit and listen to someone going into details about their sad and "dark' journey through mental illness when there are lots of things to see at the Fringe, and every individual has their own plans and lists of what shows to see. This thought seemed fairly reasonable to me when it first came to my head. However, it was only when coming out of the show that it hit me just how much people are still afraid of mental illness! The topics discussed to me were amazing ones, but then I realized that I was the only one who found them "amazing."

After the show, it became apparent to me that as a society we are making progress when it comes to topics surrounding mental health, but we are not making as much progress when it comes to more sincere topics surrounding mental illness. Just to confirm to anyone reading this: Mental health and mentalillness are two very different things.

Nowadays, it has become so easy to post "generalised" quotes on social media regarding our mental well-being, and, whilst this is great in its own way, there is still one mammoth of a stigma that needs to be addressed when it comes to actual mental illness. As stated previously, mental illness awareness is very different from mental health awareness. It is more than a self-care post on Instagram every now and again. It is understanding that there are a lot of things that are still not being talked about because they are too "dark," sad, or uncomfortable.

Everyone always says, "Treat mental illness like physical illness"—because it is still an "illness." However, what a lot of people still aren't realising is that, just like a physical illness, the things that happen to our bodies and minds when they are in a state of mental illness are not dissimilar to physical illness! Mental illness still includes doctor appointments, medication, hospitalization, waiting lists, blood tests, and a whole lot of therapy. And, yes, whilst it is unpleasant, it doesn't need to be scary!

Now, backtracking a bit: Before I went to see this show, someone described it to me as being a little bit "dark." I went in feeling a bit worried, as I didn't want to come out feeling sad, down, or triggered by the content. However, it turned out that I related to most things in this show—none of it was "dark" to me: It was just life! It was my life, and it was told in a way that made me feel as if I had nothing to be ashamed of. But this is when I started thinking about my peers' initial reactions, and the word "dark" that had frequently been used to describe Clay's show. Then I started thinking: Is this show truly dark because of its content, or is it only described as "dark" because its content is something that we as a society rarely talk about: suicide, self-harm, and psychosis? In all honesty, that is for us to decide as individuals, however, it still got me thinking deeply about our perception of mental illness in comparison to our perception of mental health.

We are all indeed moving forward when it comes to such topics, but when it comes to certain aspects of serious mental illnesses, we still seem to wrap ourselves in cotton-wool and sugar-coat the truth. Mental illness is an ILLNESS, warts and all, and, until we can face and accept the messy parts of it, we will never truly make any progress, and because we don't share certain things they are still seen as "dark" when they don't always need to be.

Now, I'm not saying that we all need to always go into detail if we do not want to regarding our illnesses (you wouldn't ask a cancer patient to divulge all of their medical information if they were clearly uncomfortable doing so) and of course there is such a thing as "triggering" content; however, my point here is that there is still so much to learn about mental illness that we don't need to be afraid of. An illness is an illness. End of story.