Vivacious Characters and Toxic Masculinity

She started with a smile and a compliment. This was the first time a vivacious woman even acknowledged his presence, queuing an immediate attraction for said woman.

As being taught in her childhood and upbringing she termed the phrase, “treat others how you would like to be treated.” Therefore in her daily life she goes around addressing waiters by their name, saying hi to the cashiers she sees on a regular basis, complimenting others, and countless other kind gestures. Unfortunately to some people, they are not given enough of this basic human kindness. When their existence is recognized and they are approached with generosity, they may not know exactly what to do with it.

If you are lonely and seem to not get any attention in life, it is understandable to make the assumption that the person showing you kindness means they are sexually attracted to you. I am here to tell you that is not the case. Some people can be happy and playful and even if they have a higher level of attractiveness or sex appeal does not mean to engage, especially without consent. You were finally noticed by not only someone, but someone you find physically attractive and you feel good about it. It was out of the norm, it was eccentric, and it was exciting for you to exist. Had you taken the time to recognize your own depression, your own personal traumas or troubles; you would have understood your own toxic masculinity and how you continue to perform prejudiced behaviors.

At the beginning the lively woman was being kind and respectful. She was not given the respect in return as the toxic man feeling superior then objectifies her in the workplace. This isn’t the first case and it won't be the last. She stands up for herself, he gets mad. She says no, he gets mad. Enough is enough.

There are many things that could prevent these scenarios, best case is we all be kinder shedding light and love to other humans. We can honor and respect ourselves especially if we are suffering. We can honor and respect others, especially in business and professional settings. We can communicate, set boundaries, and keep things noble. Lastly, and most importantly, we can refrain from sexualizing others. A person’s level of sex appeal to you, your thoughts of arrousal, and your corrupt mind does not mean they feel the same about you. Hopefully most of you reading this already know and agree. For the others let me reiterate, your sexual thoughts and fantasies does not mean someone else put those thoughts in your head and pants for you. Those are your thoughts and feelings to own up to or refrain from. It does not mean to act on your perversion and it does not mean that a “sexy” person is an object for you. They don’t exist for you or your pleasure. They are human too, treat them with civility. Make decent human respect the social norm.

In this scenario the man was her boss and in the end her income suffered. You may say she “led” him on. You may say she was being “flirtatious”. We have this preconceived notion in society where those two things might be “okay” or a “green light”. When in reality, those are toxic masculinity traits to use as an excuse to justify unacceptable behavior. If you find yourself wondering or sexualizing someone that is no excuse to touch them or to disrespect them. Try communicating how you feel and see if they feel the same way too. Remember, No means No. It really is that simple.