There Are Over 50+ Alters Inside My Mind: Here's a What It's Actually Like to Have D.I.D.

So, let us begin with why we are writing this for you today — Medium, that's right. Medium!

Well… Not the website.

Now let us elaborate… it is because of the medium newsletter from we think, the Medium Creators Hub, and in today’s newsletter, it talked about writing when you are vulnerable, essentially is what summarizes the gist of the moving newsletter.

This one resonated with us, and since today is one full of surprise introductions we bring to you the reader, today.

Right now I definitely would be considered to be writing in the vulnerable category, as I am in the process of switching, so please do bear with us.

I have noticed that my switches cause us to feel an insanely high level of hell that is derealization, dissociation, extreme panic, and narcolepsy that no medication can fix — and right now was no different.

You will notice that we will alternate using the terms ‘I’ and or ‘We’. This is something that has begun to change as of late, and it’s strange but part of me so I respect the others’ wishes for pronouns.

I have a ridiculous amount of anxiety while writing this, and overall, for the lack of a better way to summarize how I feel is just…weird.

Fucking weird.

Welcome to my Dissociative World… Volume Two of many?

I plan on writing multiple volumes in this series for publishing for my beloved readers so, though I figured what better way for us to build that reader/writer relationship than to introduce ourselves?

Now, I know more about some alts vs. Others, so some introductions will be more in-depth than others. :)

In no particular order, I now introduce to you… The Scene Queens of the Luciferse. :D

Amethyst Siren — Age 24, the author, drives when writing or publishing frequently.

Ashley Knoxx — Age Sliding Fictive, presently age 24 and a co-driver [co-conscious], TBD relations to Anna Nexus Knoxx, opioid addict, from The Luciferse Universe, believed to be a twin.

Anna Nexus Knoxx — Age Slider, Ages 12–17, Driver and Co-Driver [co-conscious], TBD relations to Ashley Knoxx though she is not a fictive, loves drawing and art, part of a set of twins.

Brandi — introject, polyaddict, Age Slider ages 18–28, frequent observer though does seldom fully drive [front].

Emma — Age Slider, Ages 3–6, playful, only observes though will interject emotions or feelings as well as thoughts, trauma alt.

Freya — Protector, age unknown, almost always an active observer, keeps the peace in our headspace.

Hazel — Fictive Age Slider, Ages 17–19, Middle Alt from The Luciferse Universe, stoner, happy driver and sometimes co-driver [co-conscious].

Harleigh — represents our stages of hypo manic episodes, age unknown, observes in the background.

Haylee The Queen Hellacious — present driver as well [one of many, as it has taken us a few days to write this due to the difficulty of triggers], fictive demon kin and alter human from The Luciferse Universe, Queen of Hell.

Kairi — inner child, observer who sometimes communicates with our headpiece as our self-love grows.

Kali — our creativity alter.

Layla Lynxx — Age Slider ages 15–17, introject from our senior year of high school, alcoholic driver and co-driver [co-conscious], twin s p l I t r o j e c t of/with Rose.

Lilith — demon kin, protector.

Lilith Morningstaar — Co-Driving Age 24, responsible, comfortable in who she is though this world feels slightly foreign for her being a fictive from the luciferse. Main driver frequently, fictive MC from the luciferse.

Lynndz Lynxx — Introject, Age Slider Age 24–25, one of a few drivers as this is being written [Fronting], responsible, manages addictions, confident in who she is, knows who she is when driving [fronting], does have some amnesia but not completely which means she co-drives a lot.

Mazikeen Demon — observer and demon kin introject, half protector.

Nexus Morningstaar — splitroject twin of the observer, Nezuu, combined observer and driver almost constantly, sort of a gate keeper #1.

Nezuu — observer and protector.

Rosa — combo observer and driver, introject.

Rose — twin splitroject of Layla Lyn xx, observer.

Scarlet Scythe — fictive alter human MC from The Luciferse Universe, frequent daily driver, age slider from 17 to 21.

Tessa Depresso — Depressive alter and fictive.

Okay, so maybe I did put us in order, alphabetical ‘actively awake’ order that is, haha.

These are introductions to about exactly half of us in our Luciferse System, and I hope to be able to share more about each of us as time goes on, and we learn more about each other.

We hope you enjoyed meeting us, and stay tuned for more updates from our Dissociative Diaries Collection.™️☪️

Love, Phoenyxx ☠️🌹 [admin driver at the time of completion, and she is new!]