Summer Fun?

The sun wasn't always a problem for me, I used to love it! That nice big ball of warmth and brightness in the sky. The way my skin would be warm to the touch, being able to be outside or in the pool for hours on end. The after effects of having mom lather me in aloe or vinegar to take that damned sting away. Sun-kissed, natural bleach streaked hair in my face...

Welcome to 30!

I'm not sure what brought it on, my body started to become sensitive to a lot of things as I got older. I've always had a few allergies, mainly seasonal, no big deal. Once I had kids things changed, everything in my body chemistry started to be hypersensitive, I could no longer enjoy foods I once loved, my seasonal allergies were year round, it was always something. I first noticed how reactive my skin was to the sun during a trip to Hawaii, I got horribly scorched the first day and that was it. Watching everyone on the beach sunbathing and having beautifully tanned skin, I can't say I was envious but maybe annoyed at myself. I was nothing more than a well cooked lobster at that point and tried to cover myself as much as I could for the remainder of the trip.

Research commenced!

I found out that it's not uncommon and that are much more severe cases out there. Photosensitivity, contrary to the name has nothing to do with photos but exposure to the problem, in my case the sunlight. Sun allergy? Sounds ridiculous! Doctor's recommendation: avoid peak sun hours, cover when possible, and always use sunscreen.

Living where I live currently water sports are prevalent, we've got a river running right through town, it's truly a summer escape. Unless you are me of course. On average we get 300 days of sunshine a year and during the summer months we are hitting 110 degrees Fahrenheit. You bet your ass I'm not out in it, unlike everyone else I know. I could go out there but the amount of effort it takes for me to prepare my skin to be out in the sun, even with copious amounts of sunblock (I'm talking the thick zinc stuff that turns my poor pasty self whiter than I already am). The sunblock, the umbrella, the hat, the towel, the bathing suit cover...it's damn exhausting thinking about it.

"Hey let's go down to the river?"

Sorry I really can't.

"Come on we'll find some shade you'll be fine."

No, truly you'll have more fun without me.

It's just not worth it for me to hold my friends and family back, the guilt eats me alive sometimes and I feel stupid saying, "sorry I'm allergic to the sun." I sit here and look at all their photos on Facebook or their Snapchat stories and yeah I do feel a little excluded. Seeing all my friends and family with beautiful tans in the summer next to my paleness...

Even when I do go out (with sunscreen and cover) I feel the aftermath, my skin feels like centipedes crawling over my limbs, little pinpricks here and there of my nerve endings yelling at me. Little blisters form and it takes all I can not to scratch at myself (because that will only make it worse). In some cases I get angry little welts that form a rash over my core body, neck, chest, or shoulders. It all depends on my level of exposure.

Just imagine feeling the tiny hairs on your arms starting to singe, that roasted feeling you get when you pull something out of the oven or off of a BBQ. That's how I feel all the time when I bare my skin to the sun. Nothing like thinking of your skin crisping under a fryer that really gets you excited to spend some time under that flame ball called The Sun.