Men do not cry!

''Are you crying? No you should not cry! Men do not cry! Oh my god, you are so weak! I am embarrassed to be related to you!" Now I have a question, did the term vulnerability originate with a specific gender or we assigned it with one? I am pretty sure you and I, and many of us are quite familiar with the statements given above, and if I talk about my personal experience lets just say I hear it on an everyday basis. Not only that, but also people around us make it seem like crying is only meant for women, you know it is almost like using a ladies restroom where if by chance a man enters, because there was an emergency, he is shamed for the rest of his life. Crying is the same. Our society has established this notion that crying should only be limited to women and men should always carry a bold and a brooding look on their faces, which in their opinion makes them look stronger. I'd rather say not. Nobody is born with this notion that emotions are gender oriented and only if a certain gender is making use of it, the others should be despised. It is almost like admissions should only be limited to a certain group of individuals, and everyone else should be precisely ignored. It does sound illogical right? When we repeat a certain set of behaviors for prolonged periods of time, it becomes a habit, that is in the words of Ivan Pavlov, individuals becomes conditioned to react or behave in a certain way, when exposed to the stimulus. Similarly, we tell young boys not to cry in a situation of crisis, no matter how bad, as in the words of an orthodox person who fail to change their opinions, "BOYS DON'T CRY! YOU ARE NOT A GIRL!"

According to researches, men as compared to women are more prone to develop schizophrenia, which is a psychotic disorder, and it is more likely to become severe. Majority of these symptoms that men go through are the inability to express, and a lack of emotional capabilities and I think we all know what is the reason behind this. Because they are unable to express what they are going through, these habits might backstab and turn into something bad. Not only psychotic condition, but also anxiety and depression are commonly found in men as unfortunately something that should have been natural, is an internal conflict for them. I always have this question running through my mind, that why is that when my grandfather died, everybody in my house except my dad and my uncle, were crying while they were busy handling the rituals without any sorrow and no sadness on their faces, and I never had the guts to question this. There is a prejudice regarding this in our society, that men do not tend to feel anything, however, it is important to understand, that there is a difference in how people tend to put forward their emotions, and whether expressing them is their priority or not. Like I mentioned, men have been conditioned to believe that they are supposed to be independent, confident and aloof, and hence they have misinterpreted the aspect of emotions with weakness. Due to this, they tend to be silently miserable in their lives, which is commonly called, 'suffering in silence', and because of these social expectations they tend to repress their emotions, and are not able to figure out a socially acceptable way to say what they feel, which in turn causes mental health problems. Oh, the story does not end here, because they feel that expressing is a sign of weakness, they do not even tend to seek therapy and they continue to suffer. When in a relationship, we have seen that the woman is more intimate as compared to the man, which clearly explains the fact that women are more emotionally expressive as compared to men. When the relationship takes a negative turn, or let's just say when it is not working out, women due to their exceptional emotional capabilities and an ability to understand, they tend to solve the issues there in there and they tend to move on more effectively as compared to men, as they are stuck in the loop of guilt and an inability to put forward their point, instead their is anger and rage regarding everything that happened and there is least acceptance. The concept of masculinity expects men and boys to engage in activities, that are considered manly, establishing differences between various aspects. Lets say if a man wants to be a kindergarten teacher, there is always a question and the only reaction is that are you a woman? why do you wish to take care of children? whereas a man who is designated as a professor at a university level is given more respect. The concept of masculinity also determines the ability to express emotions and be vulnerable about themselves. According to this concept, there are certain norms that dictate that how are men supposed to act and if they deviate they will be banished. It is all because of us, all of the emotional turmoil that both of the genders go through, it is all because of us and the society we live in. It all started when as kids, all the guns and remote control toys were given to boys and girls were assigned with kitchen set and Barbie dolls. It all started when the superheroes were portrayed as men who were strong and fierce, and who were responsible for protecting the world and not saving themselves.

Let us all break this stigma of emotionality and not assign it with a particular gender and let all people be their vulnerable selves. All they need is a single opportunity to talk about what they are going through for once. Let us not generalize men for wanting to feel and wanting to be loved, as emotions never originated with limitations. Remember, vulnerability is not a weakness, rather it is an act of courage. When you stop your emotions from coming out, as you need to look stronger and due to the fact that what will people say, that is where you are wrong and that is what you fear. When you are able to express, that is when you are brave. That is all for today, I will see you next time. Au revoir!