I am Female

What a pity, to have more rights and protection within the womb than I do now. Just cells, nothing else, merely a spec of existence and I am safe. At least for now. Safe as long as I stay within the womb, least safe in the aspect of I have a right to born. Safe in the aspect as long as I remain undetermined. Safe till it is revealed I am female.

Once I am birthed as female I face all new aspects. My mother did not want me, she was forced to carry me to term. Adoption was her option. Except it doesn't go as planned. Foster care is where I end up. I no longer feel safe, my foster parents are mean. He yells and drinks, she doesn't care. I have fresh bruises that are proof, but it doesn't matter–I am female.

Now at the age I can least leave the house for a few hours a day to go to school. The bell rings and I get to make friends, least I get some joy in life. A bang rings through my ears, blood splatters my face. The friends that brought me joy now lay dead next to me. I cover myself in blood and play dead, it's the only way to survive. I am alive, but I am female.

My body grows and shows how much of a female I really am, it brings unwanted attention. The bruises still exist, but no longer from the same manner as they once were. My foster father visits my bed almost nightly now. All because I am female.

I've aged out finally, able to leave the abuse I got in foster care. Now though I'm faced with different obstacles in life. I keep my keys between my fingers when I walk to my car. It's late out, I'm alone, least I hope I'm alone. At any moment that could change. At any moment I could be thrown to the ground and taken as they want. I live in fear for I am female.

The worse has happened and I go to the hospital. I am questioned and accused rather than treated like the victim. The police don't believe my story, they imply that "I was asking for it" by the way I was dressed. My doctors don't care either, they dismiss what I tell them is wrong and give me no aid. This is normal because I am female.

Three months have passed since the incident and a life grows inside me. Knowing I carry my rapists' child kills me inside. I want to kill myself but if I fail to do so I will be charged for murdering the cells inside me. I do not have choices, they've been taken away from me for I am female.

Nine months have passed and the child is born, he is male. He'll have a decent life, least better than I had if given up for adoption. I ask the doctors to remove my reproductive system, I can't stand the thought of going through this again. I am told no for I "must" have 2 children and my husbands permission before they will perform such an act. I am denied for I am female.

What a pity, to have more rights and protection within the womb than I do now. Just cells, nothing else, merely a spec of existence and I am safe. Safe as long as I stay within the womb, least safe in the aspect of I have a right to born. Safe in the aspect as long as I remain undetermined. Safe till it is revealed I am female.