Four Signs a Person Is Secretly Unhappy with Their Life

In a recent survey, just 14% of people said they were really satisfied. In reality, we are more dissatisfied than we have been in the past 50 years.

Many of you, though, are unaware of this. The majority of people do not go around whining. Friends are excellent at putting on a brave face. We have a knack for falling for deception. We then take it personally when the friend's conduct changes. We miss the fact that there were signals all along. It was never about us in the first place.

Understanding the subtle signs of unhappiness can help you empathise further. You will have a greater understanding of yourself. Over all, you'll have stronger social ties, which are related to enhanced health, happiness, and longevity.

Soccer Moms: A Defense

For three years, I worked in retail at Crate & Barrel, a high-end interior design store. I had a great time at work. It was low-key, and I got to meet and chat with a number of people. I did, however, encounter a number of difficult customers. A woman once came in looking a little frazzled. I'd only just checked her out a few minutes ago. “Sir,” she exclaimed as she slid her open box across the table. Sorry, but you packed this incorrectly.”

I looked at it and couldn't see something wrong with it. I inquired as to the nature of the issue. “You placed the wrong gift wrapping paper inside,” she said. “I requested blue.”

“Ma'am, that's the only blue we have,” I said, looking down. “No, this is turquoise!” she screamed as she held up the package. You were deafeningly deafeningly deafening The provocation took me off balance. I clarified that we only had turquoise. She stormed out of the shop, uttering no more words.

Before the 'Karen' meme, she was my Karen. We'd been taught how to deal with problems like this. We learned from a senior manager that outbursts are rarely about us personally. Frequently, they are about a larger issue in the customer's life. It doesn't make the rudeness any less offensive. However, it provided us with more meaning.

Karen, the high-maintenance soccer mom, is somewhat unfortunate in this regard. A homemaker with a thankless task comes to mind. She's trapped in an unappreciative marriage. Her children are out of hand. Her husband refuses to assist her. She's exhausted. Gift wrapping paper became a medium for the unresolved irritation. The outburst is close to when your parent went nuts because you forgot to make your bed. Their indignation stemmed from a deeper disappointment with you.

When You Don't Understand What They're Doing

This was a tough time for a married couple I knew. The wife was ranting about her husband to us. He slept the whole day away. He'd come home and lie in his bed for inordinate amounts of time. He'd get up, go to work, and put in long hours. He'd then return home and turn off the computer.

His wife was understandably upset that he wasn't paying attention to her or assisting her at home. In the weeks leading up to this, the pair had been arguing a lot. Fast forward a few years, and they divorced, owing in large part to his actions.

He was later diagnosed with depression, which is a perplexing disease because its symptoms can be contradictory. Insomnia is a possibility. You might be sleeping too much. You have the option of staying out all night. When someone's energy levels shift suddenly and consistently, I note it. They are either consistently exhausted or alternate between the two extremes. That's when I start to think.

Real Contact Has Failed

My wife is an archaeologist who works in academia. She operates a lab that scans objects in 3-D. She employed a third-party vendor to perform a few exclusive scans. She charged the man in full up front. After months of drama, she was still unable to reach him. He didn't pick up the phone. He didn't respond to any of my emails. He would periodically email me to cancel meetings. His justifications were often ludicrous.

We won't go into all the details, but we do know he drinks a lot and has personal problems. However, the situation and his indifference have caused him far more serious problems in his life. He took a company’s money and refused to deliver services. He’s ruined key business relationships and his reputation. He’s effectively tanking his career.

It's not generally a positive sign for someone's health when their contact breaks down, when they avoid answering calls and performing their daily duties. People who are depressed often avoid and postpone contact. I've seen previously solid friendships and jobs collapse after someone began ghosting everyone, including their boss and partner.

Unhappiness Has a Secret and Universal Sign

Years ago, I was in a relationship that didn't make me happy. At the time, I didn’t even understand I wasn’t happy. I lacked the self-awareness and emotional language to articulate that to myself. I was also in denial. I’m generally a pleasant person and you’d have probably never guessed it if we spoke.

It was obvious in retrospect. Rather than spending time with my partner, I was engrossed in my hobbies. I became obsessed with trivial matters that prevented me from being around her. She was right to be irritated by my focus on those other issues. Meanwhile, because we quarrelled excessively, I didn't enjoy our time together. We weren't meant to be together in the first place. She is a wonderful person who has moved on. I'm pleased for her.

I was doing what a lot of unhappy couples do. It was a kind of escape. When boyfriends start gambling, playing video games, and hanging out with their friends, you can see it. Something new has suddenly taken up all of their time. Escapism takes on a darker tone as it manifests as cheating. At the end of the day, a person is just doing a bunch of things to avoid facing their problems. A significant predictor of unhappiness is avoidance.

Empathy is a life ability that can be used in any situation. If you train your eyes to search for unhappiness, you'll be more likely to find it in yourself.

By acknowledging someone's pain when others don't, you have the potential to change their life. Years ago, someone helped me break out of a rut when no one else did. Look for these signs in their more subtle manifestations.

To refresh your mind, here are four symptoms of unhappiness.

1. They start sleeping all day or their energy levels fluctuate dramatically.
2. They become enraged over trivial matters. They're expressing a deeper sense of unhappiness.
3. Their dialogue begins to sputter, fade, or change. They stop talking about it or following through with promises.
4. They pick up new hobbies and immerse themselves in them to escape reality. They indulge in escapism.

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