Episodic Meltdown of Nothing

Going through motions. Silence, pressure, nothing. That's what it feels like. Nothing. Waking up to the confines of self. Not pressured, not rejuvenated. Motivation escapes this mind as the clouds of lost freedom drags me through its atmosphere. Not really living but neither dying as well. A sense of limbo that is just as is. You stay in stagnation for a wave to move by. No hope but the interest of what will take me away. What will change my mind and flip this switch where my mind goes in silence. Triggered by the thought you move around this weight of existence to understand the state you're in. You move your hands around the objects.

With each touch, you identify them to validate the truth. Pillow, bed sheets. One by one you can feel and now see. Your eyes feel weak and slow, you feel dazed as if your life has been sanctioned by society withering away of gluttony. You know you have to fight, you understand that you have to struggle. You don't. Staying in what feels like comfort while these words of nothing and sleep stay constant in your frontal cortex. Straggled by gleam you try to get up as if to start your day but what you feel is what's not cracked.

Tired from unwanting pain, mentally drained from life and its complexities. Sheltered in solitary confinement with no need for existence, we forget the routines of life. Pushed aside motivation and need for exercise. This quantum fortitude of living for yourself, all you hear is silence and it’s as if you're being strangled by it. Unable to live and breathe through it. You lose control of yourself as you become a slave to the moments that be.

Cold air passing by as if ghosts flow through thee. Unrelenting pain and sorrow with no sense of reality. You can't help but cry. Distractions of the masses to break you away, but you are already in the grasp of the demons you had at bay. So strong this feeling comes, your life is possessed by the nature of truth while a slave to everyone. Waters of weakness fall upon thee, out of control lost sense of soul, unable to find the real me. So much agony and mental pain, part of you want to just sleep it all away. The fear of this being a nightmare is what feels like torture, can't tell if this is life or my mental horror. Ghosts that pass by with a soul so lost, heart feeling broken when love isn't really frost.

Stuck in silence for all to see, exposed to reality from the fake me. Scared of the truth that battles these thoughts, goes ballistic as if all hope is lost. Struggle to keep your head on straight, trying to make sure everything is great. Settled down for you to be happy, your love becomes lost because your dream isn't reality. What is true when you are pushed to your limits, broken down, and feared from your spirit.

Not really centered but scattered in place, alone in silence with my soul to take. Angels and demons no longer have power, when you lose control of yourself and start to devour. A familiar sound or embracing the truth, go through the motions so you can get through. Body drives with no feeling of you, breathing doesn't exist when this episode comes true. Fight through the pain and stress of pressures, be reminded that you are loved and cared for, by others. Take a deep breath because now it's over. You survived this moment, now you are stronger.