Difficulties of Living
It's hard living sometimes, it shouldn't be—right?
Life can be hard, and it definitely will be. We have these periods, good and then bad—over and over again. It's like a never ending chapter, and just as we think it's over we find out it's not. We are going in circles sometimes, I know how it feels, cuz that's how I feel this very moment. Like in stock, it's like if I've been placed in this box, but it's closed. It feels like there's no way out—like I'm stock.
I believe we've all felt like that, and if you haven't yet, you sure will. It might not be right now, but it will happen at some time. For me, it felt like I was falling into this dark never-ending hole, just falling into nothing. I found it hard to take decisions and I felt sad or depressed most of the time. Though I didn't like showing it—it made me feel weak. I went to school with a smile plastered on my face, I laughed along with my friends and was "happy." But as soon as I got home and sat down... everything was wrong. I had time to think, just sit alone and think. Something I'm not very fond of. I had dark thoughts, thoughts no one should have. I got more depressed and it started to affect my daily life, my school work wasn't as good as it used to be. I found it hard to concentrate, and my grades started to fall. I even went so far that some of my thoughts became reality—it hurt.
But then I did something, something I couldn't be more happy about today. I told someone, not my parents—hell not even my own mother. How could I? It felt wrong in so many ways.
So I got over my trust issues and talked to someone else, my friend. One in particular and guess what? It actually helped. I told her everything, down to the very detail—and she understood me. She told me something I think everyone should know, it's okay to cry. It doesn't make you weaker or smaller, no it makes you stronger. It only made me stronger.
When we are in our dark zone we have to remember this—"it's just a phase, and it's going to be okay." It might take time, and it does take time. But something I learned is that it doesn't help to hide it. If you're feeling down talk to someone. We can all understand it because we have all been there, and we will get there again. We can't deny it, we might try but in reality, we can't.
But now I have some advice for you—and this is my very own.
- Stop denying it and talk to someone about it
- Try something new—for example, I got a job and started to work out more
- Get your self a diary or journal—it actually helps to write down how you feel
- Forgive and forget—it's really hard I know but try
- Just live—don't overthink everything, take chances
Those five things made my life a whole lot easier.
Especially number four—"forgive and forget." It's really hard but sometimes it's actually worth it—I will tell my story about that another time and trust me it wasn't even close to easy. I went through hell and back, but I survived it and so will you.
I hope this helps you because it sure helped me.
It made me believe that we can get over it and live on.
That's just life.