Capture people's hearts

May 7, 1931.

The noise and the sound of running footsteps on the streets of New York. The police are chasing a dangerous criminal. Finally, after a lot of effort and determination, the police arrested "Two Gun" Crowley, a serial killer, right at the place he did not expect: the house of his lover on West End Avenue.

One hundred and fifty police and secret agents surrounded the tallest building where he was hiding. They punctured the roof, sprayed smoke and placed machine guns in the windows of surrounding buildings. The deafening sound of machine guns and shotguns rang out continuously for more than an hour. Inside that room on the top floor, Crowley hid behind thickly padded armchairs, fiercely fighting off the police force with bursts of machine gun fire. But in the end, this criminal with excellent marksmanship had to surrender.

New York Police Chief, Mr. E. P. Mulrooney emphasized that "Two Gun" Crowley is one of the most dangerous and cruel criminals in the history of crime in America's most populous city. A very notable point about Crowley's personality is: "For just a small reason, even for no reason at all, or simply to relieve his sadness, he can point a gun at someone else and pull the trigger." However, that was the police's thinking. This cold-blooded criminal did not think like that. While outside the police were trying to find ways to arrest him, in the room, Crowley was writing a letter. The letter was still attached. red blood stains. And, this is what Crowley wrote: "Under this coat is a tired but gentle heart - a heart that never hurts anyone." Reading these lines, anyone can't feel their own heart emotional but the truth was the opposite of what he wrote. Just a few hours earlier, Crowley had fired a gun at a traffic policeman when he stopped his car to check his driver's license. When the policeman collapsed. , Crowley jumped out of the car, grabbed the victim's handgun and coldly fired another shot into the trembling and dying body. Crowley was sentenced to death. In the electric chair at Sing Sing prison, he was also fallacy: “Is this the punishment I have to suffer for killing someone? Are not! This is the punishment I have to endure just because I need to protect myself."

It's strange that such an obvious villain refuses to admit his guilt.

I corresponded a lot with Lewis Lawer, the warden of Sing Sing prison (where the most dangerous criminals in New York are detained). Lewis Lawer confided: "Very few prisoners in Sing Sing consider themselves bad people. They think they are normal people like you and me. They can tell you why they broke into a safe or quickly pulled the trigger on a gun. Most of them try to come up with false arguments to justify their illegal and unscrupulous actions. They firmly believe that there is no reason to imprison them."

If Al Capone (3), "Two Guns" and other gangsters never admitted their heinous crimes, would normal people easily admit their mistakes? Completely wrong in your everyday life?

John Wanamaker, founder of the retail chain that bears his name, once admitted: “Thirty years ago, I understood that scolding others was stupid. I encountered many seemingly unbearable troubles before understanding the obvious truth that God gives each person a unique characteristic, no one is the same. And, that's why, I can't ask everyone to behave the same and everyone knows how to criticize themselves when they do something bad."

Indeed, the talented Wanamaker learned that lesson early, while it took me a third of a century of searching to begin to understand that up to 99% of us never criticize ourselves for anything. anything, no matter how wrong we are.

Criticism is useless, it only causes opposition and excuses. Criticism can also be dangerous because it touches people's stubborn pride, hurts their sense of importance, and ends up creating only anger and hatred. Criticism also causes a denial of responsibility, and creates a feeling of depression and discouragement while mistakes remain unresolved.

B. F. Skinner, the world-famous psychologist, demonstrated experimentally that a pet that is praised for good behavior learns faster and remembers better than a pet that is punished for bad behavior. Recent research shows that this finding also holds true for humans.

Eminent psychologist Hans Selye said: “The fear of condemnation in humans is as great as the desire to be appreciated.” George B. Johnston of Enid, Oklahoma, is in charge of worker safety for a design company. His important responsibility is to ensure that workers wear protective helmets every time they work at the construction site. He recounted that every time he encountered workers not wearing protective helmets, he often used his power to force them to follow the regulations. Surname reluctantly accept. But as soon as he turned his back, they took their hats away. After training with Dale Carnegie, he decided to try a different approach. When he saw a few workers not wearing protective helmets, he asked them if the helmets were not suitable or if something was wrong. He then reminded them that when working, they should wear helmets to avoid being hurt or in danger when an unexpected incident occurs. As a result, the number of workers accepting to wear hats has increased without any objections or unpleasant attitudes arising.

It is easy to find countless failures due to the critical personality of people throughout the history of every nation. Human nature is like that. Those who commit evil and blame others never blame themselves or look back at themselves. And, criticism is like homing pigeons, always returning to the place of origin. One very dangerous thing is that the people we criticize and condemn will certainly find reasons to justify themselves and condemn us in return.

On the morning of April 15, 1865, President Abraham Lincoln was assassinated by John Wilkes Booth in a motel room across the street from Ford's Theater. Looking at Lincoln with eyes of respect and deep regret, Secretary of Defense Stanton exclaimed: "This is the greatest leader of the world from ancient times to modern times."