Breakfast at Lion’s

Once upon a Summer I lived on a bus in the mountains with a roommate named Lion. One July morning Lion drove the bus to a rent a car place to visit our friend Nova. Just having left the world of dreams and not having had coffee yet I was not yet ready for socializing. So Lion says here I got breakfast eat some of these and drink your coffee and I will be inside with Nova when you are awake. So I made coffee and had a morning toke. Then looked at the gallon ziplock bag on the table that he called breakfast. It appeared to be filled with special mushrooms. I had never before eaten special mushrooms but one or two might just make a wonderful breakfast. Now munchies being what they are I never could recall how many I actually ate but it was a significant sight beyond one or two.

Breakfast being finished I started my morning mediation. Sitting lotus on my mat eyes closed and clear of thoughts.

“Hey” I hear and try to ignore

“That’s not how you do that” says the voice again

So I open my eyes to see a purple skinned man in long robes sitting lotus opposite of myself.

“How did you get in here?” I asked him

“I have always been here” he laughed

“Who are you to say I am doing a thing wrong?” I said more sharply than I intended

“I am purple Jesus, and if you are meditating properly you should be floating about two feet above your mat.”

“Can’t be done.” I informed him mater of factory

In response to this he began to float exactly two feet above his purple mat.

“Now that’s far out” I said “teach me how to do this.

For what seemed to be hours and hours stacked upon a pile of hours purple Jesus again and again tried to teach me to levitate. Then presto I was floating upside down from the ceiling.

“Tone it in a bit” said purple Jesus as I returned to the floor.

Being so excited that purple Jesus taught me how to levitate I promptly got up and bolted off of the bus and into the car rental place where nova was working on this beautiful Monday morning.

“Lion! Lion you are never going to believe this! Purple Jesus just taught me how to levitate!”

Now it was at this very moment that I came to the realization that the rent a car place was very very crowded and also that all these normal type humans who don’t do things like eat mushrooms for breakfast were infact every single one of them silent and looking directly at me.

Doing his best to control his laughter at the spectacle I had just made of my self he broke the silence and asked me

“Well how do you do it then?”

Tragically due to the large amount of people all eagerly awaiting my answer to said question of how I had indeed forgotten the trick to it.

“Milk duds! I forgot. Let me go ask him. I said as I ran out the door and back onto bus that now contained no trace of purple Jesus.

-End