A piece of my struggle.

We all wonder about life and how fast it can change. One minute we are laughing and smiling, the next sad or crying. We even wonder about where all the time has gone and why there is not enough of it in a day to complete all the things we hope to accomplish which leads to more stress and anxiety. Another one to add to the list is the loss of a loved one, friends, or just someone we know. For someone suffering from depression, bi-polar, post traumatic stress disorder, anxiety and or any of the other mental health issues, this can intensify normal life situations or experiences to an almost unbearable level.

It can turn into a point of no return for some. Now I am speaking from my personal experience, or what I have witnessed by friends and family and even complete strangers that I have just killed time shooting the breeze with. I have also encountered opinions good or bad for example, that it is all in my head or that's all hogwash type of comments. Some people just do not have any clue on these mental health issues. It is now finally starting to get the concern and support that it so desperately has been needing in this crazy world.

I personally have been suffering from all of the above and more for most of my life but did not know it, or I guess you can say, choose to lie to myself . In my mind I was normal and just being a puss in boots and needed to grow up. Keep it in and to yourself or they are going to think you have finally lost it and have gone crazy is what I used a lot. However after having my two boys and then going through a rough pregnancy with my first daughter things started getting worse. It almost cost me my marriage. My husband begged me to get help somewhere. In his opinion what I was going through was not normal. It got to the point I thought he was crazy. It took a separation and the loss of my boys plus giving my fourth child up for adoption to reach a new low.

I became suicidal and almost took my life. However, out of nowhere something made me realize I wanted a better life, and that this was not who or how I am. I hated feeling lost, alone, and a failure at everything. I finally sucked up my pride and asked for help! It was one of the best choices that I have made in my life. I am in a much better place now. It is not something that can be cured. This is something anyone suffering from most any mental health issues will have to live with and manage or struggle through the rest of their life.

A smart person once told me there is no magical pill or trick to anything worth experiencing, however there is the good and the bad in all things. It's how you acknowledge it and show it who's boss and in charge of you! I guess the point of telling this short story of a part of my life is to say please do not live in denial or fear of judgement, get help so that you may have a better life and regain a little bit of yourself in the process. Nowadays help comes in different forms.

It can be medicines, counselling, support groups, government agencies. Hell it can even come from a complete stranger that can become your closest confidant. Mental health issues are not a joke. Anyone suffering from them, do not realize how strong they truly are when they feel broken or judged. People will always have their own views, opinions, and beliefs. That is our right as individuals. Please understand that everyone is beautiful in their own way and no one is perfect. At some point the light bulb will click on for most. Always keep in mind that everyone has their own skeletons in the closet. So stay strong and know someone out there understands and you're not alone!