A Million Little Pieces

I think the world is aligned against me.

False.

I think my problems are caused by others.

False.

Suicide is a reasonable option.

True.

My sins are unpardonable.

I stare at the question.

My sins are unpardonable.

I stare at the question.

My sins are unpardonable.

I stare at the question.

I leave it blank (43).

A Million Little Pieces, written by James Frey, is a semi- fictional memoir about the malicious lifestyle of an addict and alcoholic. He awakens with no memory of the previous week and on the verge of death at 23. Frey’s story follows him through his time in rehabilitation and allows readers to watch how he changes throughout the book. The importance of truth is expressed through Frey’s honesty of his addictions and his disbelief in the twelve- step program.

Though ironic, considering his experience was a bit fabled, Frey focused on truth by being honest about his addictions. He made a big deal about how important it is to understand the truth, especially for people who are in recovery. Although he didn’t believe in the twelve step program, Frey never denied he had an addiction.

I am an Alcoholic I am an Addict and I am a Criminal.

I know who I am and I know what I’ve done and I know why I am about to die.

I am an Alcoholic I am an Addict and I am a Criminal.

That is what I am and who I am and that is how I should be remembered. No happy lies, no invented memories, no fake sentimentality tears. I do not deserve those tears. I deserve to be portrayed honestly and I deserve nothing more and I start to write my own obituary in my own mind.

I write the obituary that should appear, but never will. I start in the beginning and I stick to the facts and I move to what I know will be my end.

I am an Alcoholic I am an Addict and I am a Criminal (94).

He knew who he was, and accepted that, but Frey also learned he was more than just an addict. The significance of honesty is also expressed in his disbelief in AA’s twelve- step program. In Frey’s mind, “addiction is a decision” (241), not a problem. He disparages the program and anyone who uses it. In rehab, the staff has fake videos constantly played about how this is the only way to recover, and Frey says “I think the whole thing is fucking stupid and I wonder if keeping an open mind at this place is the same thing as having an empty mind”. Instead, he finds his own honest and real way to his recovery.

Frey’s wording and structure is unique to other books. He capitalizes specific words to exemplify a sense of significance and does not use any quotation marks to portray dialogue. Frey doesn’t use a lot of big words or descriptions, but his thoughts and emotions are vividly expressed through his interesting writing style:

I stared at her.

When I see you the World stops. It stops and all that exists for me is you and my eyes staring at you. There's nothing else. No noise, no other people, no thoughts or worries, no yesterday, no tomorrow. The World just stops and it is a beautiful place and there is only you. Just you, and my eyes staring at you.

I stared.

When you're gone, the World starts again, and I don't like it as much. I can live in it, but I don't like it. I just walk around in it and wait to see you again and wait for it to stop again. I love it when it stops. It's the best fucking thing I've ever known or ever felt, the best thing, and that, beautiful Girl, is why I stare at you (186).

The lack of punctuation and repetitiveness is strange to read; a reader has to use previous sentences to understand if someone is speaking or Frey is narrating. It’s as if his writing can project the shattered disposition of an addict. His sentences are broken into a million little pieces, as if it were parallel to his state of mind.

The significance of truth is expressed through Frey’s honesty about his addictions and his disapproval of the twelve- step program. He believes in being in charge of himself and ironically in the end all he needs is honesty. This book perfectly conveys his vision of honesty and the struggles of rehab through his distinct writing style. Although his memoir compared to reality wasn't all honest itself, the message is real and very much important; “Remember the truth. It is all that matters”, (204).

Works Cited

Frey, James. A Million Little Pieces. Murray, 2003. Print.