'13 Reasons Why': Opinions from a Mental Illness Sufferer

Okay, so I want to talk about 13 Reasons Why.

If you have been hibernating in a cave since 2017 (tempting sometimes, I know), it is a Netflix original series centered around a young high school girl named Hannah Baker. She commits suicide and leaves behind a series of tapes explaining the events that led to this decision and inevitably, how many people failed to help her. Each tape focuses around people within Hannah’s life and how their actions contributed to this tragic event.

The show has garnered a huge amount of controversy for its graphic depictions of issues such as sexual assault, bullying, gun violence, drug abuse and suicide (to name a few). Trigger warnings have been placed at the beginning of each episode after critics claimed that the show actually glamorises suicide and is highly triggering as opposed to showing audiences how to prevent such situations.

The show’s creators argue that the show is designed to open up conversations about these topics and is helping people to recognise mental illness and raise awareness. So I’m here to weigh in on the topic. I will mostly discuss Season 1 of the show, although I may briefly mention Season 2 so be careful of spoilers.

Firstly, I would like to state that this show means a great deal to me. It has made me cry countless times, has hurt me, moved me and made me think more than any show I have ever been a viewer of. I myself have suffered from depression and anxiety since the age of 14 and so here are my personal opinions...

The Good Parts: Not Shying Away

Thirteen Reasons Why does not shy away from tough subject matter. It does not tiptoe around issues or subtly suggest mental illness in a way that has frustrated me with shows in the past. It is intense, it is graphic, it is painful and it is real.

As a person who has spent a great deal of time trying to communicate the feelings behind depression, it is genuinely so moving to see this being expressed on screen and embraced and recognised by audiences.

Performances

The cast are extremely talented and take on such difficult subject matter convincingly and with real maturity. I did not feel patronised or trivialised and the moving performances really helped to push the importance of reaching out and helping others. Season 2's performances are particularly standout, especially Alisha Boe’s moving portrayal of Jessica Davis; a rape survivor who comes to terms with her story and in a few heartbreaking scenes, cannot sleep in her own bed anymore.

Opening Up

Like it or not, the show really has begun a conversation. It is a shame that it takes a dramatised television series for people to begin to take mental illness more seriously but I am glad that people with little to no experience of such matter are taking the time to invest in something that is (even subconsciously) educating them.

The show has pushed even myself to reach out to others and talk more about my depression, which is a really positive thing.

Changing Perceptions

What started out as a negative for me has now become a positive in regards to the show. I was initially a little irritated by what I deemed to be trivial storylines, firstly believing that I was seeing something as important as suicide blamed totally on the actions of others: believing I was watching a young girl end her life because of issues that seemed a little overdramatic. However, that is the beauty of the show.

13 Reasons Why firstly allows you to build up such judgements about these "trivial issues" before they snowball and prove you completely wrong. It shows that the small things can build up and that sometimes the accumulation of so many wrongs can make somebody feel like there will never be enough rights in the world.

I thought that I already knew that but this show has helped even me, a sufferer, to think more deeply into mental illness.

The Bad Parts: Revenge Tapes

I do feel that the entire premise of the show can be quite damaging. The notion that committing suicide is a way to hurt the people who wronged you or to seek revenge on those that didn’t help you is quite troubling. I can see critic’s arguments that the show may produce copycats and that this is glamorising revenge fantasies and I must say that binge watching the show can sometimes perpetuate an unhealthy mindset about "hurting those who hurt you."

Furthermore, the show can definitely promote thoughts of leaving parts of yourself behind so that people will finally understand you—unfortunately trivialising the fact that death is a permanent decision. Hannah continues to 'live on' and tell her story from beyond the grave which in turn fails to acknowledge that death is the most final and definite choice a person could make.

Genre of Drama

It's important not to forget that this is a television show. Everything is heightened, plot devices, twists and absurdities are used for the sake of entertainment. However, the idea that somebody in this mental state would be so clear, concise and focused enough to create such an elaborate plan does not help to break the stereotype that suicidal people just want attention.

Suicide is a gut wrenching, painful decision that can be both spontaneous and predetermined but the portrayal of Hannah's decision to do so comes across as a lot more casual than it should. Hannah herself is a flawed character who keeps secrets, who sometimes does not help herself when faced with people that want to help her. I, of all people, understand that this is a symptom of depression.

However, we do not get to see much of Hannah’s previous experience with mental illness. She begins the series as a seemingly ‘normal’ teenager whose depression appears suddenly and seems highly situational and so we do not receive answers to questions about Hannah’s previous experiences with mental health—leading audiences to believe that suicide is an easy way out when facing almost any difficulties.

Depiction of Depression

I do often get the feeling that Hannah genuinely does seem to cope well with life when she receives positive attention or something goes right, whereas depression is an everyday illness that does not fluctuate as highly as Hannah’s does based on if somebody invites her to a party or a boy takes an interest in her.

Sure, these things can help with a young person’s feelings of self worth and validation and play with their emotions but ultimately, Hannah does come across as somebody who became extremely depressed when she wasn’t noticed in the way she wanted to be. But when she is? She believes life is okay again. I do not want to perpetuate the stereotype that ‘if you’re smiling, you can’t be depressed’ but Hannah really does fluctuate in a way that would lean more towards Bipolar Disorder.

Depression is different for everybody but the framing device of the tapes mixed with 'what everybody did' reinforces the idea that Hannah had some bad luck thrown her way and then threw the towel in, as if that is an option for when a lot of unfortunate things happen. This raises awareness for the smaller things and how everyday actions can affect others.

However, this also works counterproductively in the way that Hannah's death seems as though it was completely related to others and not with Hannah's illness. In fact, Hannah having a mental illness is never really mentioned, only other's actions that made her feel sad. Furthermore, her tapes seem to be a way to become "somebody" again without having to face negative judgement; a way to gain sympathy and seek revenge on those who hurt her.

Lack of Answers

The show does not actually provide many solutions or positive reinforcement on how we can really help in such situations. It seems to show us everything that we shouldn’t do but rarely what should be implemented in everyday life.

As mentioned above, the show does not mention mental illnesses by any name or description and we do not receive many specifics other than tangible events that made Hannah understandably so unhappy. The show starts a conversation but nothing seems to be answered or resolved (especially after Season 2) and things actually get progressively worse as the show continues.

At the end of Season 2, I felt an overwhelming sense of injustice, loneliness and lack of faith in the world, which actually perpetuated my negative and depressed feelings. This is worrying because a lot of viewers may be watching the show because of their own experience with mental illness.

Mixed Feelings: Hannah’s Suicide

This scene caused the most pain I have ever felt when watching a TV series or film (although this was perhaps on par with Afronovsky’s Requiem for a Dream).

Upon first watch, I felt shocked, overwhelmingly sad and vulnerable. On my second watch, I actually felt extremely triggered and as though this scene was beating me around the head with feelings that I was already really struggling to deal with. The scene is so raw, so uncomfortable and gives the viewer absolutely no relief. It is truly devastating and is a scene that I will never be able to erase from my memory.

However, after the initial shock wore off, I felt that this scene actually helped me. Seeing Hannah’s Mother scream and cry whilst cradling her lifeless bloody with bleeding wrists ripped my heart open and reminded me that for all this show’s reinforcement of suicide being something that gives you a legacy, that suicide should never be an option. This showed me that suicide destroys the lives of almost everybody around the victim, that death really is a permanent, awful decision to make.

We never got to see what Hannah Baker could have been, what she could have gone on to do. I found myself devastated for this young soul and all of the promise, wanting to grab her and tell her that life will get better and not to give up. This made me realise that wait a second, why don’t I think that about myself? Why don’t I tell myself that? If the loss of such a promising young life was so tragic to me, then why can’t I see that in myself?

Final Thought

Overall, I do keep coming back to Thirteen Reasons Why. It is not a feel-good show and it is not a light hearted show but it is an important show. For mental health sufferers, my best advice would be to be very careful when watching this. I would suggest watching with somebody that you trust and who can be there for you, as even the strongest of sufferers are guaranteed to feel moved, exposed and emotional.

If this is something that you feel you need to watch alone, please heed my advice and take breaks. The show is very bleak and for fellow binge watchers, I really can confirm that it traps you in a very sad world for a very long time, so please take some time out to let your mind rest a little. For non-sufferers, I would definitely recommend watching. Especially for those who want to gain a deeper insight into mental illness (whilst also remembering that this is a dramatised show and that every experience is completely different).

The show has broken down a lot of barriers that I am extremely grateful for. It will always hold a big place in my heart and I am grateful for the almost backwards way in which the show has comforted me and made me consider getting help more than I would have before.

However, the show can be extremely triggering and stir up some unpleasant thoughts for vulnerable viewers and I would therefore suggest a more stringent age restriction, as I believe that although informative, the show can be deeply traumatic and also at times needs to be taken with a pinch of salt, which I fear younger viewers would not have the emotional maturity to do.

As somebody who suffers from mental health issues, I think that the show was necessary to highlight issues of bullying in the digital age and that the controversy is opening up conversations that otherwise may not have happened. I just really pray that the writers enjoy the controversy for this reason and this reason alone.

Thanks for reading and a gentle reminder that there is help out there. I understand how hard it is to ask for it but please try to take care of yourself.

Amy x