Your Homophobia is Killing LGBTQ Kids

I’m fucking pissed off like you wouldn’t believe right now. And it’s not even because of the usual reasons that I typically write about.

I’m often irritated to no end about the racism and bigotry I see in my home state and city. Not to mention all of the nonsense I’m constantly reading about in the news. The United States and other countries often have a horrible problem with ignorance, racism, bigotry, and homophobia. It’s sad to see so many stories about this constantly.

It can wear on your mental state. Believe me.

I try not to let it bother me, but it’s impossible. I take breaks from social media, periodically. I write about the things that frustrate me. I talk with my LGBTQ friends and others people from marginalized groups who face the types of things I read about but as their reality day-to-day.

Things usually settle down before the next bullshit event shows its ugly bigoted head. Then the cycle repeats. This just happened again about an hour ago. Only this time, it’s personal. Once again, it’s family.

Goddamn it, I hate that. For any new people here, I have a wonderful daughter who’s a senior in high school. This is a young lady who loves everyone, stands up for marginalized people, works with the LGBTQ community in school, and wants to be in the mental health field after college.

And she’s gay.

She’s been out since she was almost 13. I couldn’t be more proud of her. She has 4 wonderful parents and step-parents who fully support her and love her. She has numerous siblings between our two families who adore her and don’t give a flying fuck that she’s gay. None of us are religious. Remember that point for later.

Her extended family is hit-and-miss. Grandparents are kind to her in person, but hold bigoted views about homosexuals. My parents are too religious to accept her as she is. Another grandfather isn’t religious but is a bigot and borderline racist.

None of them though are the cause of this latest crap that I’m furious about.

I saw this post an hour ago from my Brides’ nephew who lives with his grandparents, her mother and father:

My Bride’s mother is the culprit here. A little back story about her and my Bride’s father. They’re big-time conservatives like many racist bigots tend to be. They have their TV on volume 70, yelling at Fox News constantly. Supportive yelling, not chastising the bullshit propaganda they’re always spewing to their ignorant fan base.

Grandma is not right in the head. She’s a Vietnamese immigrant and should have no reason to be so bigoted and racist, as an immigrant herself. But she is. Her husband is conservative and guilty of many of the same things that I hate her for. But he’s a nicer person. But she’s just an ill-mannered, hateful garbage human.

She was a narcissist and gaslighter of epic proportions when my Bride and my sister-in-law grew up in their home. They were incredibly sexist and favored their son over their two daughters. I’ve personally observed her being racist, prejudiced, and just plain mean to her family. She’s attempted to step to me a couple of times.

Ask her how that turned out.

We haven’t seen her in three years. Both my Bride and I have 86ed her out of our lives while leaving it up to our children to decide if they want any sort of relationship with her. They’ve visited a couple of times. They’re starting to see her bullshit and have also distanced themselves. Almost everyone she’s ever been around has done this over time.

This latest bullshit shouldn’t surprise me. I shouldn’t even be bothered by it. But it hurts. Ignorance like this hurts. And it doesn’t just hurt. It kills.

I have a friend from way back to grade school days. We haven’t stayed in touch much, but his mother follows me on Facebook. She’s a badass older lady who loves and accepts everyone. She was always the coolest, growing up.

Her grandson took his own life a couple of years ago. He was gay. A young college student, dead at age 20.

His father, my old friend, is a career military man. As are his brothers. My own brother is also military. He had some unkind things to say about my daughter’s coming out when she did.

Of course, these things weren’t said to me. Racist bigots tend to talk a lot of shit behind people’s backs because they’re chickenshit coward fucks. Afraid of everything that is different. Afraid to learn about someone with differing beliefs. They see everyone as a threat due to their own insecurities, politics, and religious beliefs.

Ted Cruz’s daughter has come out as bisexual. This week, she was rushed to the hospital due to what’s been reported as a suicide attempt. Self-inflicted injuries to her arms. It has to be difficult to be Ted Cruz’s daughter and part of the LGBTQ community. I couldn’t imagine what the poor girl goes through with Cruz as her father.

People, you have GOT to stop being so goddamned ignorant. Whether it’s because of religious reasons or just plain bigotry and homophobia, you have to learn to shut the fuck up. You have no right to treat your children like shit because of who they choose to love.

What an ignorant thing to draw a line in the sand over. Disown your child because they love someone of the same sex? That’s incredibly stupid. Who are you to judge them over that?

We are not here to dominate and demand our children believe the things that we do. You do not own your children. We are here to guide them. We should be loving them unconditionally. Why the fuck does it matter who they choose to love?

If you are imprisoned by fear over your religious beliefs, that’s YOUR problem. Not your child’s issue. They need their parents to love them, accept them, and be their number one fan and supporter.

It didn’t occur to me for one second to be anything other than loving, supporting, and happy for my daughter when she came out at age 13. Even with four parents’ support, she still cried in fear when she came out to all of us. My heart broke for her. She knew she had the best, most accepting parents ever and still cried out of fear.

Wake up, America. LGBTQ kids and young adults have a 50% higher rate of suicide than their straight peers. Do you love your child unconditionally enough to be supportive of their choices? They are not hurting anyone else by being gay.

You better figure this out quickly. Before your child is next. Living with the guilt over you causing the death of your child will not be easy to bear.

Ask my grade school friend about that one.