Written Out of His Own Life

So I thought yesterday about making a list of all my friends who died from HIV/AIDS. I have no idea why, and I just couldn’t do it. It brought back all the unbearable feelings of guilt and sadness and anger. It got tangled up with the current pandemic. I had to shove all those feelings back in their box. I never thought that I would live through one pandemic, never mind two. I never thought that I would watch thousands of people die from government inaction and ineptitude in two separate pandemics.

I went dumpster-diving on Facebook and found a list of all the folks from ACT UP/NY who have died, but there were so many names missing from people who were in ACT UP. Right now, I can’t get my friend Tim out of my mind. Tim was from East Millinocket, Maine. He loved to say that all the houses in town are on one side of Main Street because the paper mill is on the other side of Main Street. His family never accepted him for who he really was. Even his obituary was lacking in facts. I am going to fix it. My amendments are in bold.

SAN FRANCISCO, Calif. and EAST MILLINOCKET — Timothy Robert. Powers, 41, passed away Sept. 12, 2005, in San Francisco, Calif., after a long courageous battle with HIV. He was born May 4, 1964, and was the cherished adopted son of James and Gloria (Borrello) Powers, currently of Medway. Although they loved him, they were never able to joyfully acknowledge that Tim was a Gay Man. This was very hard on Tim who wanted nothing more than to feel accepted by them. Tim was a special gift to everyone who knew him. He was a devoted friend, loving son, and brother, and a warm, giving soul. Tim spent his youth in East Millinocket and attended Opal Myrick Elementary School and Schenck High School, where he excelled in music and theater and began his life-long love for the arts. He used to laugh at how stereo-typical this was, but he also said that it was really hard to grow up Gay in Millinocket where he knew no one would accept him. After graduating from high school, he attended New York University to escape from the oppressive environment of his small-town and to pursue his love for the arts and writing. After arriving in NYC, Tim was finally able to live openly as a Gay Man, and he relished going out with friends, hanging out with other Queers, and being able to love other men without looking over his shoulder.

Diagnosed with AIDS in 1987, Timothy turned his anger over society’s response to AIDS into power as one of the earliest members of ACT UP/NY and was a founding member of the PISD Caucus (People with Immune System Disorders) which he felt was a good way to point out the links between HIV and other Immune Disorders. He helped organize and enact protests that helped change public opinions on the epidemic. He was a tireless fighter and was arrested while doing civil disobedience on several occasions. After many years living in New York, Tim moved to San Francisco, where he continued to pursue his love of writing. He also went skydiving, got tattoos, had a play produced at Theater Rhinoceros, and was published in RFD Magazine.

Timothy was a founder of the San Francisco Gay Men’s vegetarian Wiccan Coven, which he led until his passing. Throughout his life, Tim had a true passion for learning and helping others. He joined ACT/SF and continued to fight to find a cure for HIV/AIDS. This passion is what led him to pursue a degree in law. At the time of his death, Tim was a third-year law student at the New College School of Law in San Francisco. His ultimate dream was to work as a liaison for the under-served communities in San Francisco and the surrounding area, especially the LGBTQI Community and people living with AIDS/HIV. Tim is survived by his loving parents, Jim and Gloria Powers of Medway; his adoring sister, Lisa (Powers) Phillips and her husband, Mark, of Levant; and his loving brother, James Powers Jr., and his wife, Ruth, of Coleville, Wash. Tim will also be missed by his many cousins, aunts, and uncles throughout Maine and beyond. Over the years, Tim and his family have been blessed with a loving circle of friends and loved ones who surrounded Tim before and during his long illness struggle with HIV/AIDS. Our love and undying gratitude go to special friends, Kevin Paulson and Brian Fisher and Kevin Thaddeus Paulson of San Francisco, three Gay Men who gave their unwavering devotion to Tim and his family. Tim was also blessed to know his friend and loving spouse, Derik Cowan. He is also survived by his beloved Tibetan Spaniel, Daphne. The friends Tim has made over the years are too many to count; we thank each one of you. A celebration of Tim’s life will be held at a date to be determined and announced at a later time. For those who would like to make donations in Tim’s memory, you may do so to the Timothy Powers Memorial Scholarship Fund. Please make checks payable to the scholarship fund and send them to Bangor Savings Bank, P.O. Box 250, East Millinocket, ME 04430. Alternately, you could donate to ACT UP, or Theater Rhinoceros, or RFD Magazine, or an LGBTQI cause, or the HIV/AIDS charity of your choice. Tim would have wanted that.

After I finished writing this, I (stupidly?) googled Tim to see if I missed anything. I came across an address listing for Tim which didn’t acknowledge his death. It said he was 57. I wish that was true. I wish I could call him and tell him, “It’s been a while. What’s up with you?” It would be amazing to spend a few hours talking about who we were in then and who we are now. At least I could do this much for him.

This is a more accurate remembrance of him and his life. If you knew Tim and want to amend this or add something, please drop me a note. If you didn’t know him, maybe now you wish you had.

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