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Why Would Anybody Choose to Be Gay?

Is it the Fashion? The Dance Moves? The Attitude?

By Jason ProvencioPublished 16 days ago 6 min read
Nobody chooses to be gay. They realize it and hopefully come out to people who are supportive and loving. Image by Alessandro Alle from Pixabay

I was thinking about my LGBTQ brothers and sisters this morning. The things they endure and have to go through as part of the LGBTQ community. The nasty things that are said behind their backs. You hear it from conservative Christians and mean-spirited bigots far too often:

“Being Gay is a choice. You are choosing to live that lifestyle of sin.”

Excuse me, Sir?

Being gay is a choice?

This made me wonder if the people that believe this actually really do believe it. Or are they just saying it to be mean-spirited bigots like so many of us think they are? Let’s think this one through for a minute.

If it’s true that people just choose to be gay, trans, or bisexual, what’s the selling point? Why do people make the choice to change their entire lives around and face ridicule, persecution, and rejection? Often from their immediate families, parents, brothers, and sisters?

Your stance is that they’re doing all of this because they are CHOOSING a difficult life on purpose? They wake up one morning and say, “You know, I really have the hots for Susie. But I think I’ll romantically pursue Brandon, instead. What the hell, time for a change.”

Is that what you think sexual orientation is? A flip of the switch? Really?

There’s no switch you just choose to flip on when deciding to be gay. Because it’s not a choice. It’s the way you’re born. Photo by Steve Johnson on Unsplash

I take it you’ve never read a science book or even an article or two. At this point, there have been over 1500 species on our planet in which homosexual behavior has been studied and noted. One of those happens to be homo sapiens.

Human beings, for those needing a bit of tutoring about this topic.

So let’s see, science is on our side about this. But many of you who believe that homosexuality is a choice also don’t accept science as being accurate. But that’s ok. You don’t have to believe in science for it to be true. Stay ignorant, my friends.

But think this through, logically for a second. I mean, try really hard. We all have some amount of logic within ourselves. Even if some of us don’t use it all that often.

To the straight people: How old were you when you realized you liked girls or boys? Show of hands for those who knew in grade school. *raises hand.

Yep. I knew from as early as first grade. It didn’t change in second, third, or fourth grade. It ramped up in junior high and hit a whole other level in high school. There was one thing I was certain about:

5th grade Jason, on the right. Likely checking out some skirts at Christian School. I knew I was straight back in 1984. That was my best friend in the middle. He came out gay, years later.

I loved the boobies. And the bootys. The hair. The walk, the talk, and everything else. I was hooked on females and that was that. The same as when I was in grade school. Over 40 years later, nothing has changed.

When my daughter came out gay almost five years ago, I heard the chatter secondhand from a few relatives about it. One statement, in particular, boiled my blood.

Well, she started going to that Gay/Straight Alliance Club after school. They probably welcomed her with open arms. She wasn’t popular with boys so she figured, “Hey. These people are kind and accepting. Maybe I’ll be gay.”


You don’t choose to be gay. You’re born that way. I was NOT a popular kid in school. I didn’t have good looks and my ears were big. Then that damn Roman nose started growing. I had sort of crooked teeth. I was not smooth with the ladies.

I finally had my first girlfriend at age 21.

I didn’t choose to be gay simply because I wasn’t good with the ladies and was lonely for 21 years. That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. Anyone with some reasonable level of intelligence that isn’t steeped in ignorance would never believe in such a thing.

But it’s been hard-wired into many people’s brains that gay people are evil. That they’re destined to burn in Hell. That they’re all child-groomers and pedophiles.

It’s disgusting and wrong that religious zealots believe that gay people are doomed to burn in Hell, no matter how good of human beings they may be. Image by annca from Pixabay


I’m sorry, but do you know what group of people has the highest rate of pedophilia in the world? Conservative Christians and other repressed religions. Were you aware that the LGBTQ community has a lower percentage of pedophiles versus non-pedophiles than the straight demographic?

I bet you don’t believe it. Look it up. Do your research. That’s my point about all of this: Stop believing the ignorant, bigoted stereotypes about the LGBTQ community.

I believe that the majority of adults in the United States are good people. Notice I didn’t say “an overwhelming majority”. I have felt for the longest time that about half of Americans have their heads on straight and know right from wrong.

That other half, though have their heads up their asses.

I feel that when you remove religion from the equation, you’re dealing with a far more rational set of people. If people that identify as very religious were to disappear (Rapture, anyone?) and we polled those remaining on Earth, a much higher percentage of people would be far more kind and accepting toward the LGBTQ community.

But preachers and pastors have misinterpreted and weaponized the Bible for hundreds of years. They’ve targeted and persecuted gay people. Though the Bible does not refer to homosexuality as a sin, so many have changed the meaning around and equated homosexuality to pedophilia.

That’s disgusting and wrong.

Many people are afraid of what they don’t understand or have no experience in. They themselves haven’t had homosexual desires or tendencies because they weren’t born that way. See how that works?

Nobody is trying to groom children to be gay. We want queer kids to feel accepted and loved for being exactly who they are. Be supportive of LGBTQ people’s mental health.

Just as you haven’t decided to “choose” to be gay, neither have our LGBTQ brothers and sisters. Why would they “choose” to be gay in the type of world we live in?

A world where gay people are beaten, tortured and murdered for existing. This still happens in our country, though it’s far more prevalent in religiously dominated countries across the world. It’s disgusting and a gross injustice for LGBTQ citizens.

Even here in America, gay, trans, and bi people are persecuted. The murder rate amongst the trans community is particularly disturbing. And how many gay Americans have been murdered in mass shootings over the past 10 to 20 years?

The hate has to stop. It is inconceivable to me that someone can be whipped into an angry, bigoted frenzy by religion and politics enough to go slaughter a club full of LGBTQ people with an assault rifle. Whatever happened to, “Thou Shalt Not Kill”?

My family loves and supports our LGBTQ brothers and sisters. You are loved, valued, and appreciated.

I have known and been friends with numerous gay people in my time on this planet. I’ll take a gay, trans, or bi person over a radicalized religious nut any day of the week. The LGBTQ people I’ve known have been kind, well-mannered, hilarious, and talented.

And it’s not because they’re gay. It’s because they’re PEOPLE. People just like you and me. People who want to be accepted, loved and cared about. People who shouldn’t be persecuted, bullied or hurt simply because of their sexual orientation.

My gay daughter is a wonderful human being. She is kind, encouraging, and polite to all people. She shouldn’t have to endure being called slurs as she has been. She shouldn’t have to censor herself and not discuss her dating life to comfort the ignorance of the weak-minded.

She’s a strong, proud, gay, young woman. And I couldn’t love her any more than I do. Give your LGBTQ friend or family member that same love they deserve. &:^)

RelationshipsPride MonthIdentityHumanityEmpowermentCultureCommunityAdvocacy

About the Creator

Jason Provencio

Husband, father, writer, and poet. I love blogging about family, politics, relationships, humor, and writing. Buy me a coffee?

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  • SAYHERNAME Morgan Sankofa7 days ago

    Thank you for your post. This was important to share that being lgbt is not a choice. It took me over 10 years to come out as queer because of southern values and we all deserve healthy love and to be loved for who we are.

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