The LGBTQA+, the Liberation of Love and Rejection of the Binary.

There is a belief, one that has proven particularly intransigent despite the amazing progress of the LGBTQA+ movement, among humans both straight and otherwise that LGBTQA+ love is somehow different from straight love. I want to analyse this belief, refute it and also lay out what I see as the final outcome of our movement for as much as Pride is a celebration of our right to exist, of our staunch defiance of bigotry and intolerance it is also a movement. A movement hellbent on "Making Love Great Again." From Stonewall to The Equal Marriage rights passed in some countries recently we have achieved so much but still have SO MUCH further to go. Where are we going? In my opinion, a place better than we've ever dreamed of!

The LGBTQA+ Pride movement exists because for a good long while we didn't have the right to, it's more than a festival it's a declaration of intent. We have won these victories and we intend to keep winning, we're here, we're queer and you better get bloody used to it! Pride is just that, the sons and daughters and everything in between of those who died broken, refusing to be victims of a system built on "us and them" mentalities. In recent years however we've become more than that, the current gender revolution has been a long time coming and is just the beginning of a very important change in how we think and feel about each other not just within gay or trans circles but GLOBALLY! (Though I admit a very western bias there, I am not a resident of places like Tunisia, or other nations where our victories don't reach and thus I won't presume to speak for them) Gender non conformity is spreading like wildfire, people are finally feeling comfortable enough to come forward with their identities and we're even seeing ones emerge that are new to folks not in the know within our circle where such things have made sense for decades. I personally identify as a pansexual CIS male though I'd argue my masculinity vs my femininity is about 60/40 any which way depending on how I feel and that's largely my point. The current form of the LGBTQA+ movement rejects the black and white. You can be grey if you want, you can be both if you want. If you FEEL that that's what defines you, that that suits your personal definition of yourself.

This is potentially revolutionary as if we allow that kind of freedom to become our flag, our whole identity what might that mean for humanity? Could we make a world without binaries, without gays and straights and males and females? Without women's rights or men's rights and just human rights? It sounds like arguing semantics but on a social level this would change everything. I've recently undergone a huge change in myself. Before this pandemic I thought of myself as strictly monogamous, whether that was with a man or a woman or something other was irrelevant to me I didn't really understand that there was any other way to be. I was raised by a strictly christian family and even now at 26 years old I still struggle to shake off the burden of traditional Scottish protestant teachings and expectations. I have a lot of guilt and a lot of fear, I don't think I'll be accepted by my family if they found out but as this pandemic has gone on I've come to understand my nature a little better and what it is I need in regards my love life. I need more. I have so many people that I love so very very deeply and every single one of them is as important to me as the other. How do I choose just one?! I came to the realization that I couldn't and thanks to a new group of friends I made I discovered the wonders of Polyamory and the moment I did, everything clicked. I don't want a big wedding. I don't want monogamy. I don't want kids. I want a big gay friendship mansion with like twenty cats and dogs where all my friends and lovers can all live together and I don't have to be without them.

I used to think I wasn't a people person, I got called anti-social and my parents even worried that I didn't know how to make friends. The past wee while has taught me that not only is that not the case but I actually avoided people out of guilt for the feelings I had. I try to befriend basically everyone and everything. (Don't give me your stuffed animals. I won't let them go. That said, if you get me one I will literally cry) I want to love everyone and everything. I want to support them, I want to help them and I get very upset when I can't help them when they're struggling. (This was a severe problem in my teens as I didn't understand how to pick my battles) There are so many different kinds of love and I feel a deep need to experience and embody every single kind. This brings me back to my initial point, the redefining of love and the rejection of the binary.

Human beings are social animals, we don't just use it to maintain our place at the top of the food chain we NEED it. Our brains are wired for it and without it we become agitated, irrational, forgetful and stilted in our ability to communicate and relate to each other. Human beings need strong social bonds, we need strong communities and interactions. We need to touch and feel each other, we need to laugh with one another, play together, work together, get that bread together. Regardless of what kind of person you are, these things are a fundamental need that drives us and enriches our lives. Why should that social need be split between friendship/family and lovers? Love does not need to be cut up and folded into neat separate bundles. Humans don't work that way. We're all infinitely complex tapestries, woven tight out of innumerable experiences, demands, decisions, losses, loves, triumphs and hard learned lessons. We are creatures without form, we change every single day we're alive, that's how we work. Humans exist the way that they do now because of that constant evolution. So why, in a creature so complex, a creature so amorphous, should love -arguably the most IMPORTANT experience- be one defined shape?

That's the future I see for us, so long as we keep going. A place where love is allowed to be whatever shape it wants, so long as nobody gets hurt and everyone consents knowingly and I honestly believe that if we can create a world where love can be whatever you need it to be, we'll achieve the first step towards making this world a paradise where everyone can be proud of the bonds they've forged and nobody is afraid to hold hands in the sun.