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Living in the closet

It is still scary to come out

By Lawrence Edward HincheePublished 2 years ago 3 min read

Gay rights has come a long way since I was a child during the 1960's and 1970's. So why when it is so widely accepted would anyone stay in the closet in 2021. Security is the biggest reason. If you are caught in a homosexual act in a Muslim country, you are either beheaded or thrown from the highest building in the city.

Why would a person in America stay in the closet in 2021? As for me, I am sixty and still haven't come out of the closet. My closet is safe and comfortable. But why when it's supposed to safe in America? People in my life and their remarks about homosexuality have left me uncomfortable. My landlord doesn't believe in it. My sister doesn't either even though I have come out to her. My son is very dead set against gay marriage so why bother? Because my mental health is being affected and I need to know that no matter what I am loved. Until then I just set in the closet afraid to say anything. Rejection is a key reason people stay in the closet.

In Denver several years back, a nine year old boy came out as gay to his classmates. The bullying was relentless, five days later the little boy hung himself. He thought it was safe to come out, his classmates told him what they thought. One little boy died as a result. What about his safety? Now a mother is without her son. People say a 9 year old boy doesn't know he is gay at that age, I did. Why come out as gay when you know your life is going to be this much harder? It is really hard to fight for your right as a child against your parents for your rights. That's why a lot of times gay boys end up with adult lovers, because who better understands a gay boy than a gay man?

I fought with coming out after being in the Army, I already knew at 8 that I was gay, I tried to be normal and have relationships with women and they always broke off after a week or two. My parents kept saying they wanted grandchildren. I relented and I was misreable for twenty years of my life. I couldn't tell her I was gay and when the children came, I couldn't disclose it then. Now my children are grown and I have four grandchildren, and would they understand maybe? My son, no because he has already made his stance on homosexuality known, he's against it.

Finally, in 2018 at the tender young age of fifty-seven, I had anal sex for the first time since I was nine. It felt great to have that burden lifted off of my shoulders, I was free finally. My ex-wife read my book and knows I am gay but hasn't really discussed it with me and probably won't

Another reason I stayed in the closet was my military service. In the 1970's getting caught having a homosexual relationship and you received an automatic dishonorable discharge. I didn't want that on my record because you would have received no benefits for injuries received while in service.

In the video above it depicts a teen being kicked out of his house because of his homosexuality. He turns to drugs, prostitution, then attempts suicide. How would you feel as a parent if that was your child or in my case, my grandchild? I wouldn't like it. Our kids are going to disappoint us, but we need to let them be who they really are. My friend in Japan has a nephew who is gay. He and I are friends despite him only being 12. He told me that despite him being gay, he has to give his parents grandchildren. I asked what about your happiness? He said in Japan, the parents happiness comes before the childrens happiness.


About the Creator

Lawrence Edward Hinchee

I am a new author. I wrote my memoir Silent Cries and it is available on I am new to writing and most of my writing has been for academia. I possess an MBA from Regis University in Denver, CO. I reside in Roanoke, VA.

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