How I feel about my first LGBTQ show

When one of my friends from my high school told me of this girl who might be interested in a relationship—maybe interested in me, I was freaking out. I remember when my dad brought me to that gas station to meet up with her and our mutual friend.

I was hoping she would like me.

We were all the same age, and it was super hard to find a girl my age that was self-assured enough to know who they were.

This girl seemed sure, and when I met her, I was instantly attracted to her. She was Spanish and had long black, silky hair, long legs, brown eyes and beautiful light brown skin. My mother, who is straight—-tells me to this day she was jealous, (lol!) when I brought her home to my room(she knew that she was my girlfriend)!

She(my girlfriend) gave me the warmest, most wonderful embraces——and kisses that felt like the best summer rain at night while you were wrapped under covers with the window cracked.

She also introduced me to the first show I ever saw that had real, honest portrayals of gay and lesbian couples on screen.

I was floored when I first saw The L Word.

I was like… What? Two women talking about having kids together, kissing romantically—-living together??!

I was so excited and I couldn’t be happier to watch it with my girlfriend on her lab-top all night as we cuddled and chilled together at her place.

My absolute favorite couple, that seemed the most real(they had fights, real discussions about work, race, gender, marriage, etc.) and honest type of “marriage” was Bette and Tina.

I loved their dynamics and how they represented each other, stuck up for one another and were there for each other. They were and still are a beautiful couple and I love them very much. I also have an undying crush on Jennifer Beals!

One of my other favorite characters was the witty and funny writer Alice, who was, from the beginning shown as a strong bisexual lady who liked both ladies and men relatively equally.

This article sums up a few of the earlier problems with how some of the characters attack the representation of bisexuality as a whole:

But, the problems of the way bisexuals are portrayed and handled in media isn’t just in the way the characters talk about it.

They constantly ask which gender she’s prefer over the other—and when she’ll just decide on one sexuality(as if it was ever just a choice in the first place!)verses being fluid and going with who she is comfortable with and attracted to. That’s something ALL bisexuals go through.

It’s not that simple. But it’s also not that complicated.

I give the writers a bit of credit for giving some realism to how others react to when people come out to being bisexual, but when Alice’s arc is more about her realizing she does indeed like women more than men and almost transitions into a lesbian—-it doesn’t seem to do this spectrum much justice.

Bisexuality isn’t a dirty word. It does NOT mean we are more likely to cheat on our partners, or engage in promiscuous behavior with tons of male and female partners—-or even just stick with only one gender forever either.

Though I’ve been with one man for over ten years now, I’ve had girls and guys question me on my sexuality and if I ever even liked women.

Well. First off:

1. That’s not anyone’s business. My sexuality is private and doesn’t need to be constantly updated with you just because you are my friend. If I give you insight, it’s because I trust you and think you will respect my own personal feelings.

2. Sexuality and romance and relationships are all very important(and personal) and complicated things. They are not bound to fit your own rules and personal experience, merely, these things are an amalgamation of ALL human expression and experience. Love is love and as long it is between consenting adults, it doesn’t need your approval and your understanding.

3. Refer to 2 & 3 if you need more information.

Well, anyway, despite the relationship between that crazy, beautiful and smart girl who introduced me to my first queer show ending and me moving on—-I won’t ever forget that she opened me to that new media experience.

Relationships aren’t always meant to last forever, but the lessons you learn from them before and after stay with you—-and help you grow and mature.

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Happy Pride! -Melissa