Our Adoption Story

Everything changed on June, 2015.

For some people, it might’ve been nothing. Maybe something to look past the headline to shrug at—-or scoff at even. But, for me and my fraternal twin brother Ezra, it meant everything, as that was the day that changed the course of our entire lives.

My name is Seraphina and I have a story to tell you.

We were born on January 2nd, 2013 to parents we never knew in Albuquerque, New Mexico at 11:43 am. Our father is unknown and our birth mother is undisclosed to us.

We were locked in a system that seemed to intermittently forget us, only to send us off to strange places and unfamiliar faces that were as temporary as a buffet table in Las Vegas on a Saturday Night Stud Poker night. Not that I play poker—-for money anyway. I just play for fun.

My papa Lundy taught me everything I know about poker. And US and world history. And also, how to talk to boys(not that he wanted me to date anyone until I was thirty lol!).

Now—-I’ll tell you why that date up there in the beginning is so important: it helped bring me and my brother to our wonderful, zany, cool and very embarrassing parents: Jack and Lundy Benowitz.

June 2015 was the date the Supreme Court made the decision to allow same-sex couples to adopt! Jack (dad) literally cried that day—-so did Lundy (papa)… but for other reasons!(He was a career driven person! Haha)

Lundy took the name of Jack’s Jewish surname when they got married after being together for ten years, living together for over five years. Lundy had Irish roots, which he shared with us, but he wanted to connect with Jack’s Jewish heritage and share it with us more… feeling a close kinship with the Jewish people for some odd reason(maybe because he fell in love with one!).

Our parents also tried to reconnect us with our Mexican heritage as well, educating us and teaching us everything they could about us and our lineage(of what they knew). We are of Mexican and Spanish descent, with pitch black hair and light brown skin, and matching dark brown eyes—-whereas Lundy had straight sandy brown hair with a reddish tint and light green eyes and Jack had curly brown hair and hazel eyes. We didn’t match physically, but our hearts and minds were already one and family once we first met—something they both said they felt when they met us.

They told us this was the song they played for their first dance at their small and private ceremony, a song Jack had sung to Lundy before as a sweet way to calm him down if he was anxious or upset(Now we all danced to it as a family):

They had discussed having children, and Jack(as he tells us with much emphasis) was the one who really wanted kids—-to stay home and play games and read books and make cute little snack plates all day fawning over us to lavish his love on——yes, he said us (referring to me and Ezra)because he said he knew we would be destined to come to them one day.

Lundy wanted kids too, but he was worried how they would be judged. His family had not approved of his sexuality and of his partner choice—-being of a strict Catholic upbringing.

It was especially hard now that Lundy was at a point where he truly felt ready for children and gotten financially and emotionally secure, not having his family there for support, but Jack was his quote, “beaming light,” and helped him laugh and cry and be quiet if he needed to be—- and they both were secure in their own understanding of love and family.

Jack’s family was a bit more understanding, yet sometimes seemed a bit blind to the significance of their romantic relationship—-a lackluster expression of support with only a few members of his family in total completely in support of them as a couple and for them to adopt children. Jack’s sister Sara especially was the “sweetheart,” according to Lundy, waiting to become the best Aunt to her brother’s and brother-in-law’s kids.

And I can tell you that Aunt Sara really does know how to spoil us rotten when we are with her!

To adopt children in New Mexico is free, and to get their application started with the adoption agency in Albuquerque they had to do parenting orientation classes and they had to have a few home visits to get approved.

They had both had their hearts and minds set that they would not only get approved, but soon, their family would soon be whole and full.

On December 22, 2015, our family finally came together—-as Jack and Lundy became our official parents legally on paper and in their home with tons of hugs and tons of warm welcomes.

To Ezra and I, these two people were the only parents we ever knew and we wouldn’t trade them for anything or anyone in the world.

I don’t remember too much of our early years, but once we were around four—-was when I really started to understand how much our parents both loved us as their son and daughter.

I remember so vividly the day Dad put on the old record player (he inherited from his Baba and he loved to play for us), and he put on the record for Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. He told us how much he loved that movie as a boy.

Ezra and I were four years old when we saw our parents embrace and slow dance (Papa dipped Dad a lot!)to this song:

It was so nice and perfect, as Ezra and I were literally watching the first scene of what I now call, “domestic bliss,”… something I long for one day.

Then, all of a sudden, Papa switches the song. They both of grab us, and we giggle as we all dance to this:

I dance on Dad’s feet, and hold onto his legs close, laughing at the swift and quick changes there are in the tone and speed of the song and how our parents also change the way they dance. Papa dramatically lip sings to the slower parts, making Ezra and Dad laugh hysterically. That makes me laugh, and it makes me happy.

Ezra is held tight to Papa’s chest, and grinning like crazy.

That’s the first memory I have of our parents.

Another great one was one day after school, we were both in first grade, dad (Jack)picked us up with Ezra’s kite. Now, Ezra was obsessed with this box kite (we got it from Aunt Sara) and was asking our dads every single day if we could take it out, but they either were busy with work or cooking and other chores.

So, anyway, the kite was a 3-d representation of a dragon.

Well, dad had the kite with him in the back of the car and told us he’d be taking us for ice-cream(dad told us: before dinner, don’t tell Papa!) and to fly the kite!

Ezra was so happy he was jumping inside the car the whole time making it shake.

“I can’t wait to see the dragon fly!” He kept saying, and our dad was just beaming with joy. “Will it burn us down?”

“No, honey, it won’t,” Dad said assuredly as I rolled my eyes at my brother.

“You idiot, it’s a paper dragon!” I said in a loud whisper, and we both shoved each other.

Dad laughed good-naturedly. “Be nice, Seraphina, my little princess! Dragons like gold and it might try to snatch your royal bracelet! Or Ezra’s princely watch!”

I looked at the gold bracelet our parents gave me—-Ezra got a cool silver watch, and shrugged. No way any dumb dragon will take any of my gold or my brother's silver!!

“I’ll fight it first!” I said angrily, and my dad laughed again.

“That’s the spirit, my girl!” He said with a wink, driving into the parking lot of the park.

"Hey, I could take it on, too!" Ezra countered. Dad chuckled and nodded.

"You two will fight as a team! A family," He said, grinning at us as we all got out of the car to go outside.

That day in the long grass at the park flying that dragon kite was one of the best moments of my whole childhood. Bar none.

Ezra always talks about the sleepovers and how Papa would make homemade donuts in the morning for all our friends—-putting powdered sugar in a brown paper bag and homemade cinnamon sugar in another.

All the kids would take the freshly fried donuts and choose which flavor they wanted, putting their huge, fluffy, hot pastries in the bag to shake all the little sugar granules on it.

I would always stick my fingers in the brown bags for the sugar, and of course my Dad would catch me and swat me away to the living room while Papa cooked.

Then, we’d have a big glass of milk with it once they were done. Papa would always give Ezra and I extra---the donut holes were the best!

Dad and Papa would always take our friends outside after breakfast to pick fresh ripe berries in our backyard and pears from our pear tree so they could bring it home to their families too. It was always a great way to end our sleepovers, and my dad would always make it fun. He’d juggle the less than ripe pears above his head, usually ending in them falling and him falling hysterically (fake crying) and making us all laugh. It was pretty dumb but I secretly loved it.

Kids never wanted to leave our house!

But… Things were not always perfect!

Our dad Jack was a crazy, shy introvert whereas our Papa Lundy was wild and liked to go out a lot.

This dichotomy clashed at times.

“Luns, hon, I don’t think going out on New Years is going to happen this year,” I hear dad say in the kitchen. “I can’t leave the kids. I know they are thirteen now… but I can’t.”

“I already told our friend Carolyn and her husband we were going to their party, baby,” Papa answered, yet I heard the careful gentleness in his tone.

“Oh, no. Okay…I don’t know. I’d rather stay with the kids. I wish you would’ve asked me first.”

“But, Jack… I really think that you should get out and have some fun. All you do is work.”

Dad worked as a phlebotomist full time and Papa worked as a bank branch manager for a very well known bank.

“I do have fun. With you and the kids.”

“Ugh. Fine. I’ll cancel.”

“You can go. I’ll stay here.”

It went on and on like this for awhile—until they reached an agreement that Papa wouldn’t make plans anymore without Dad's consult(they didn’t go out that year but they did go out the following year)—-other times they’d fight over more dumb stuff with less of a real solution and more arguing—- like about trash or dishes and stuff, but usually, they were more quick to make up than to be mad at each other.

One time they had a bad fight over something financial, but they were still holding hands around the house, and Ezra asked Dad why.

“Why the heck are you holding his hand if you just fought?” Ezra asked.

I pushed him a little. “You can’t just ask things like that! Rude!” I said, sticking my tongue at him.

Dad smiled at us, as he and Papa were sitting on the couch holding hands. Papa was reading the news.

“Well, Ezra, Seraphina— Papa won’t admit he hates to feel angry and when we fight it tears him up inside… so I hold his hand to make him feel better,” Dad said with a soft voice.

Papa grunted behind the paper, and I hid my giggle behind my hand. Ezra gave me a dirty look, and I shrugged.

“Right, Luns, honey?” Dad asked. There was a pause and all of a sudden there was a huge crackle and crinkle of papers being pushed down by Papa. He leaned close and said, “Yes, baby,” and kissed Dad right on the mouth, while Ezra and I made disgusted sounds.

Those are the kind of things I don’t mind to remember now.

As Ezra and I are now twenty and moved out in our own places, I think back to how lucky we were to all be together in the first place.

I remember how any time Ezra and I wanted to do something(Ezra for karate and me for ballet), they would always be supportive and very glad to give us that opportunity to showcase our talents and give us a new experience to learn and grow.

I remember how my dad (Jack) cried when I got the lead in Swan Lake and I showed him the Dying Swan dance that I will be doing. He cried by the end of this video too!

Papa was very proud and made me my favorite dinner that night(twice baked potatoes that were to die for and medium rare steak with a green salad). Dad made this homemade salad dressing that was so good because he made it creamy and spicy. I love spicy foods. I also got this amazing homemade cherry and apple pie with tons of fresh, homemade whipped cream.

Ezra also got his esteemed black belt after his many years of karate classes and we all had a mini party for him—-with Papa making his favorite meal: carnitas tacos with red rice and beans. Also, a weird addition: spaghetti with cheese melted on the side. For dessert, honey and baked, caramelized apples, and custard from his favorite custard stand. (I got a hot fudge sundae!)

Ezra has a girlfriend now and I have a boyfriend (whom I’ve been with now for three years!) and we all get together for dinners and parties.

So, I’m a super lucky lady. I got a great but annoying fraternal twin brother Ezra who I love very much and two dads who are the best parents in the whole world.

I’m writing this to show that, yes, that decision in 2015 was good. If it hadn’t gone through, I don’t know how our lives would have been. Maybe we would’ve been adopted to another couple. Another family.

Maybe we wouldn’t have been adopted at all.

Who knows? All I do know is I wouldn’t trade my two parents for anyone else, and that is a fact.

Hope you enjoyed our adoption story, and the story of my wonderful parents, Lundy and Jack.

I’ll leave you with a song my Dad sung to me at night to help me get to sleep when I was young. Hopefully it’ll help you, too.

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Author Note: As I am an advocate for all children to have safe, loving and secure homes with parents who love them, regardless of the adult parent’s gender or their sexual orientation, I 100% agree that any two (or even just one) loving parents that want to adopt should be able to go through the same exact channels that straight couples go through with similar results.

Here are some resources and history, as well as information on same-sex couple adoption:

Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed my story of this wonderful family I dreamed of. I wish they were real!

If you liked it, leave me a ❤️ or a tip, as I am proud of this one! -Melissa