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My Parlay with Mary J!

by Kai Storm 5 years ago in humor / culture
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That's my bitch!

I have to say that this blog is long over due. You see, in every blog post I write... wait a minute... let me back up a bit... in everything I write I give a piece of me, the real me. Depending on the subject, of course, is what sets the standard for the size of the piece I'm giving but I definitely give and it is for you the reader to guess where that piece is. I'll never give you a clue and only those who know me well can follow the webbed pattern I lay out but the clever ones will try... the fact is that's what I want you to do! Every now and then I want to serve you a blog that gives you me in all my splendor lol how I think, how I cuss, how I handle life daily and I always wanted to do something like this. Sort of chronologically break down one of my passions, from the beginning to the end; where we started and where we are now because honestly I truly love her, always had and always will. Now that I live in a state where it's legal to love her openly, the amount of encounters I have with her on a daily basis is so high (GET IT? HIGH LOL) and it brings a smile to my face every time. Often I find myself remembering how this type of freedom didn't exist for me on the east coast and I always finish the thought with "I definitely don't miss that." Yes, my parlay with Mary J goes back a long way.

"Back in the days on the boulevard of Linden..."

That Tribe Called Quest line takes me back to the first day I met Mary J. I was sixteen, cutting school aka playing hookie and hanging out with a guy I just met three days prior. As I look back at that day now I can honestly say that his plan to get into my pants worked like clockwork. When I got there he had two bottles of cheap champagne and two already rolled up blunts or L's as I like to call them. He told me the purpose of the champagne was to celebrate our union and I thought that was cute so I drank. He tried to get me to smoke the first blunt with him but I declined being that at the time I wasn't a smoker YET. By the time he finished the first blunt, the first bottle of champagne was empty and this time around when offered a taste of Mary J I did not say no. I took her in, we became one and we've been rolling ever since.

SIDE JOKE: I read somewhere that smoking weed could be the reason a woman's pussy is so dry... BITCH WHERE?! LOL What kind of weed is that? Honestly, the majority of times I'm under the influence I'm horny but that mood can be turned on and off like a light switch. For example, one of my exes proposed that we would have sex if he smoked with me and I remember specifically looking at him with the HELL TO THE NO face all while smoking all of his shit and when it was done I kindly walked his ass to the door, all while laughing hysterically.

Living on the east coast, I had to have phone numbers, secret meeting places, go to a friend's house and wait for a delivery, all kind of shit to get my Mary J. The craziest scene I ever walked into while copping (buying weed) was I walked into this dude's apartment and his front door fell apart. Why you say? Because the cops just ran through his house two days prior and he had just come home from jail. Now you know I bought my shit and ran out of there right LOL?! I KNOW you're probably thinking you still bought weed from him anyway?! HELL TO THE FUCK YEA!!

Now I don't worry about shit like that anymore. I go to stores with awesome inventories and helpful yet bubbly customer service representatives that have a vast knowledge on anything and everything you need to make your Mary J experience perfect. The real beauty of stories ties into another one of my favorite words which is DISCOUNTS; weed stores have discounts when they just open to draw customers, weekly discounts for returning customers and sales for those with low dollars. I FUCKING LOVE IT! Mary J and I parlay she make me sway and I feel okay... I know... only sometimes I'm funny... but you still laugh with me though!

Check out Kai Storm Books on here or here.


About the author

Kai Storm

Author of 7 novels, mom of 3 daughters, co-Host of Motherhood Sex Marijuana The podcast on YouTube!




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