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Your Malapropism is Showing, or is that your genius?

Learn to English Better - Also, Blame Dana Crandell!

By Paul StewartPublished 3 years ago • Updated 3 years ago • 2 min read
Couldn't, resist!

Man's man..such a strange phrase

I'm not sure that translates

the way you think it does

Men's work, women's work

Can't it just be work

Whether it's your dream career

Or your means to an end

Bare with me

I'm Grizzly and naked doing Yoga

Bear with me,

I'm waiting for Godot with Yogi

I could care less

Really? Could you? Is that a threat?

What is your intention?

Do you have prostrate problems, or do you mean prostate problems?

Both in unison would be quite the problem

Taken for granite

On the floor is all the things you could be

a little antidote

An anecdote is an antidote to a dull soiree

You might just fade into Bolivian

Is Bolivian a euphemism for oblivion?

I thought it was Coventry

You want to be Pacific

Like the ocean

The Specific Ocean

Where is my wet squid when I need a wet squib

An escape goat is someone you can rely on

To act like an idiot and try for freedom

But is not so good at taking the fall

There seems to be a misunderestimate

That begs the question

What is the question

Would you might of if?

Would you could of if?

Whatever...

So?

Irregardless of

what has been said before

Remember to test the lemons, no

Test the limits

When all is said and done,

Whether you follow the rules

Avoid the malapropisms

It is a mute point

Silenced by the moot point.

Remember

You

can

be

a

Unitard!

*

Thanks for reading!

Author's Note: So, this is based on Dana Crandell's awesome You Malapropism is Showing piece and the comments section and partially his awesome Masculine piece (well, the latter, because of some phrases he mentions having a distaste for) and its comments section where I sorta threatened this into existence.

Basically, blame Mr. Crandell!

Also, I felt it was a good idea, after some heavier pieces, to drop something a little lighthearted.

For other things you might like to read:

If you are further interested, head over to my profile for a heady cocktail of word abuse here.

arthumorsocial commentarysurreal poetryperformance poetryinspirationalfact or fiction

About the Creator

Paul Stewart

Award-Winning Writer, Poet, Scottish-Italian, Subversive.

The Accidental Poet - Poetry Collection out now!

Streams and Scratches in My Mind coming soon!

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    Written by Paul Stewart