You're NOT Excused

You said you loved me

You told me how you cared

We were in the same room

But you were still not there

You invited me in

Pulled me in close

Then pushed me away

To keep me on my toes

You'd say nice things

Whisper in my ear

Made me feel safe

And kept me in fear

How could I live without you there?

Would I be okay?

Would I be alone?

Could I survive

Without you home?

We'd laugh; I'd cry

Scream and fight

Like riding a roller coaster

Night after night

I wish I had seen it sooner

Took me too long to learn

Playing with fire

I was sure to get burned

I started to gain distance

A little more clarity

You were really there for you

When you were there for me

You made me feel special

Charmed your way in

What appeared as a smile

Was really a devilish grin

You made me fall for you

And I started to feel

"Is this really happening?

Is this really real?"

You showered me with gifts,

Good deeds, and adoration

All to keep me

Distracted from the situation

You would make me upset

Make me feel small

Then turn it around as if

You'd said nothing at all

You would use it against me

Hold it over my head

But if I brought it back up

That's not what you said

You played mind games

Infected my head

All to keep me coming

Back into your bed

Our distance grew in miles

Farther and farther apart

Which unknowingly loosened

The knife left in my heart

My heart still aches

Scars are still raw

Still tossing and turning

Hardly sleeping at all

It replays in my mind

Everything you've said

All the good you've done

Doesn't excuse the bad