You Abandoned Me at the First Smell of Stink

You made sure that my stink didn’t waft anywhere near you lest it stick. The stench you feared was the smell of truth and of vulnerability laid bare.

in moments of turmoil

life hurls a wrench my way

i turned to you seeking moral support

hoping for your reassuring hand on my shoulder

but instead of finding comfort in your presence

i saw your eyes darting in every direction

everywhere but mine

as if you are looking through me

looking past me

like i’m invisible to you

then you sprinted

in the opposite direction

avoiding me as if contagious,

fearing my stench might taint you

while i grappled with the demons

wrestling my inner turmoil

you stood apart

near enough to watch

how things unfold for me

yet far enough to ensure my stench

would not engulf you

i’m shocked

by your indifference

alone in the void you left

i found a better version of myself

tapping into the depths

i never knew existed

your hands never reached out

but i learned to stand tall

in the silence of your absence

i rescued myself from the darkness

while i may never knew

your reassuring touch

i’ll never forget the lessons

learned in your absence

in those moments of solitude

ironically,

i must thank you for your absence

thank you for the lessons you brought me

©Emika Oka

Thank you for reading 🖤

Previously published on From The Corner of My Mind

Your support holds immense significance for a disabled neurodivergent. If you’d like to show your support, you can consider buying me a coffee here. Your kindness is greatly appreciated.