This onus is not going to fix itself
it depends on itself
it deflects on itself
No matter how many times I divert, avert – and hurt myself
I can't seem to change
Just the feeling of self pity alone can bring me the gratification
But why?
I wallow in all this self pity and still wonder why I feel alone
No one has betrayed me but myself
(This was written in 2022)
It is now 2023 and I don't feel the same
This onus is mine and it belongs to me
I am a strong believer of you will get what you deserve, and I don't look at it in such a pessimistic light anymore.
So basically when I think about it, or of it I just feel genuine positivity and it acts as reassurance to me now.
I don't really ask for peoples advice anymore too, because I have sort of learned that this life is mine and it belongs to me. I've also learned I should treat my life as I am catering to a child with needs that I have never addressed before. People undoubtedly care for children so that is why I am attempting to treat the needs in my life like the needs of a child.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thank you for reading
Tips and Donations appreicated!
About the Creator
Aubrie Belle
A writer who excels in the overwhelming. My overwhelming is, LIFE. Poetry is an attribute to my life, so have it take affect in yours too.
- Tip me! 😀
- business email is [email protected]
- I really appreciate when you read!
Enjoyed the story? Support the Creator.
Subscribe for free to receive all their stories in your feed. You could also pledge your support or give them a one-off tip, letting them know you appreciate their work.
Keep reading
More stories from Aubrie Belle and writers in Poets and other communities.
Being adoptive whilst thinking about it when your 20
When I say I have an aptitude for emotions, what I mean is that I can divulge deep into my pessimistic outlooks. Although when I am depressed I am often not in the mood for anything, and that includes thinking. My thinking is obsolete, as I have no stimulation going on other than mindlessly watching a show I have scheduled for myself to binge. Sometimes I read as I have simultaneously set a goal for myself to educate my mind a little more to feel stimulated. It feels ridiculous to trap yourself in a room sometimes, but this is a normal thing for me as I have felt this way since I was seven. I had a brain test of some sort once and they diagnosed me with some sort of disorder where I do not metabolize serotonin like the rest of the world. I sincerely and utterly will always blame it on my birth mom.
By Aubrie Belle 9 months ago in Poets
The Silence That Follows
“Silence is not the absence of something but the presence of everything . . . It is the presence of time, undisturbed. It can be felt within the chest. Silence nurtures our nature, our human nature, and lets us know who we are. Left with a more receptive mind and a more attuned ear, we become better listeners not only to nature but to each other. Silence can be carried like embers from a fire. Silence can be found, and silence can find you. Silence can be lost and also recovered. But silence cannot be imagined, although most people think so. To experience the soul-swelling wonder of silence, you must hear it.”― Gordon Hempton
By Paul Stewarta day ago in Fiction
Comments (1)
This is brilliant. That last line - I can resonate. Nice work!