Why Am I Am Stuck On This Stupid Loo...

I only came for a shit!,

Now what do I do?

I've been sat here for hours,

Reading the newspaper that

constipated me with it's lies,

And now, I am stuck on you,

Unable to move my arse,

Glued to your miserable gossip,

As if it was some cool hip-hop,

Trending through your fashion,

As if it was my latest mission,

Even if it was,

I can't go anywhere;

You superglued my arse to the seat!

You also attached my eyes to your

words on the page,

Like I never had anything better to do today;

Please tell me why Am I stuck,

On this stupid Loo,

With you?