When

Every inch of me aches.

My thoughts on an endless loop.

“What About Me?”

“Where do I fit?”

The darkness creeps over me, it’s endless shadow no longer kept at bay.

My face wet with tears.

Smiling doesn’t feel genuine, but I force it anyway.

Constantly battling the urge not to give up.

Not to give in.

Trying to remember my inner sunshine, my strength.

Patience is truly a virtue and one hard to maintain.

There’s a scream inside me bursting to be released.

Yet from my mouth only silence, or… “I’m fine”

It hurts so bad the very idea of food is like sand in my mouth.

The places that brought me peace in their solitude now only pass the time.

Why can’t I just let the words flow?

I’m falling apart.

Yet no one knows.

All they see is a helpful, hardworking, good natured person.

But my body is on a stretcher, pulled too thin.

My mind is on you, and where do I fit in.

My heart holds the last bit of hope, beating the words “I Love You” into the dark.

Surrounded by the needs, wants and priorities of others.

My own needs, wants and priorities fall on deaf ears.

Always there when you need me.

Always invisible when it’s about me.

Exhausted, yet too tired even to sleep.

It’s never about me, not even with me.

Alone even surrounded by family.

There was a glimmer of hope, I thought maybe you’d pick me.

Yet here I am, left wondering once again.

Where do I fit in?