What scares me is the switch that flips without warning.
The switch in my brain that flips no matter how hard I'm pushing it to stay in the "good" position.
It flips during the night erasing all the good energy I had stored up for my well thought out day ahead.
What scares me is how one night I can have the mental capacity to soak in a bath, take a shower, complete my entire skincare routine, brush AND floss my teeth; yet, suddenly the next night I'm lucky if I can convince myself to go to the bathroom when needed.
One night I'm joyfully making plans for the future. The next night I'm sobbing with no thoughts of tomorrow aside from how this miserable feeling will still be lingering when I go to work in the morning.
What scares me is not knowing how long this switch will continue to run my life.
Will I ever have full control of the switch?
About the Creator
Emily Mainor
Welcome to my profile! I am Emily (she/her) and I hope to share stories about my personal life experiences as well as some fiction.
Instagram: @emily_lauren98
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Comments (2)
As someone who's been a psychiatric nurse for 32 years, this was so very relatable to read.
This was so relatable. I have that switched as well and I too worry about how long it will run my life. This is definitely a poem. A prose poem. And I absolutely loved it!