What our worlds allow

If I write fast enough I cannot feel the words I hurriedly scrawl,

That way I can pretend I never loved you, never a little, never at all.

But your eyes they still change  in the light,

And your eyes they still find mine,

And the feelings still there I naively thought were sure to go in time

I hope that you still love me but not in the way that I did,

I would not want you to feel what I and the world forbid.

I’m scared she’s going to hurt your heart,

I worry still I did that first,

Don’t doubt I know the pain that causes,

When only I hurt mine worst.

It’s hard to remember the details,

Keep memories that belong to you,

Knowing times that we liked or we don’t,

We’ll both never get a chance to redo.

Because I want to love you in the way I should have done,

The only way that wouldn’t hurt them, the way that we begun.

So I can love you in summer or winter’s stronghold,

When my eyes are glinting amber or your heart is turning cold.

I want to say that I love you and have nobody batt an eye

No one to tell me what I can say, no one to quiz me on why.

How do I explain that acceptance still feels far from fine

And that feeling couldn’t be any more stupid

When you were never even mine.

Because maybe I did love you,

But I still love you now.

In a way that I can still grow,

In a way that our worlds will allow.

M.ECW