What It Feels Like Living with Both Anxiety and Depression

Stranger… I can’t talk today…

I don’t know who you are…

I cannot find the strength…

please talk to me instead…

it’s not easy making friends…

Please don’t leave me alone

I cannot take the pain

I don’t have words to say

I’m afraid of what you’ll think

I want to speak my mind

but there’s a war inside my head

You don’t understand my pain

I can’t just make it go away

These walls will not break down

'cause I’ve tried time and time again

I feel invisible

unless you’re someone I’ve got to know

No I can’t pick up the phone

I won’t know the words to say

Please don’t make me go

There’s too much of the unknown

it feels like everyone is talking about me

I drive myself insane

There’s a prison in my head

I can’t take much more of this

sometimes I feel like this is it

where is my happiness

I feel like I don’t belong

is there no end to this

Stranger, staring back at me

is this who you want to be

I can’t break these chains

I can’t fight the voices in my head

My reflection is killing me

these tears are draining me

These anxieties are real

These fears live inside me

don’t try to take my hand

my silence is just a part of me

I feel my soul is lost

my heart is full of emptiness

It gets hard for me to breathe

no matter how much I rest

it takes all my strength to speak

this loneliness is taking over me

I just want someone to love

I just want someone to hold

I’m sorry if I’ve let you down

but I feel like I’m drowning here

I’m locked inside chains that won’t break free

why is it so hard to be me

Don’t tell me to get over it

'cause I try to get over it

Even when I fake a smile

I still feel emptiness

I try to hide my pain

I try to hide my fears

Just so they won’t hate me

I want them to want me here

There are days when I feel great

There are days when I feel bad

but I try to find my strength

I have to make it through the day

won’t you take away my pain

won’t you defeat my fears…

Sometimes I pretend that I’m a queen

so I can be in control of everything

sometimes I escape inside my head

I escape to my fantasies…

but please don’t laugh at me…

cause it’s not that easy coming back to reality

I try to push myself

and sometimes I succeed

I put this war-paint on my face

cause beauty is society

it’s just another struggle in my head

is there just no end to this…

Stranger, please go away…

I can’t talk today